All The Times When I Could Have Told You I Love You

girl in glasses with a septum piercing
Sebastian Unrau

I could have told you I love you on our camping trip last year. You just had your heart broken and wanted to get away from anything that reminds you of her. The crackling sound that came out from the campfire filled the silence in the air. The dark sky was full of stars and when the breeze gives me the chills, you put a blanket around me.

I could have told you I love you when we were at the bar last month. Arctic Monkeys were blasting on the speakers when we took that third Tequila shot. I just turned 24 this morning so we decided to go out to celebrate my birthday. You took my hand and twirl me around to the tunes of I Wanna Be Yours. My head was spinning – both from the poor decision of knocking back those endless glasses of whiskey and the anxiety of being in your arms.

I could have told you I love you just as I found you on my front porch tonight. It’s our weekly binge-watching tradition and the latest season of Stranger Things is on our list. You brought pizza with my favorite toppings combination, pineapple and pepperoni. You insist that pineapple does not belong on pizza yet you always keep taking a bite from my piece, sometimes I even caught you stealing a slice or two from the box.

I could have just told you I love you, but I didn’t.

We went on that camping trip because she got engaged to the man she just knew for a couple of months; the love of your life shattered your heart into bits and pieces. You may have given me your blanket, but you’d give her your whole world.

You requested Arctic Monkeys to the band that was performing in the bar because I Wanna Be Yours was her favorite song; she used to play it every morning when we are having coffee and breakfast. You may have asked me to dance with you for the night, but you’d ask her to dance with you every morning for the rest of your life.

You came for our Netflix routine that night because her fiancé called off the engagement yesterday and now she’s a mess; you’ve been trying to erase her from your heart for the past year yet all the feelings just came rushing back to you once you heard the news. You may have brought me the best pizza in town, but you’d bring her the comfort of having you here – washing all her pain away and mend her broken heart piece by piece.

I could have told you I love you, but I didn’t. Because you’re in love with my best friend. TC mark

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