I’m Letting You Go For The Last Time

You deserve the world. But until I find out how to give it to you, I’m going to let you go.

I have loosened my grip before. It was clearly bad timing. I never thought I could feel so much about someone when they belonged to someone else. I was wrong. It had gotten too deep, so I have to let you go. The second time you came around, it started to makes sense. Love songs make sense. Love poetries make sense. Even waking up in the morning makes sense because your good-morning texts awaits. This time, everything falls perfectly in the right place.

You give me hope instead of fear. Your touch makes me feel trust. Your presence makes me feel comfort.

You are the one that makes all the long nights alone or the week long relationships like a distant memory. You make my heart beats faster and fill my stomach with butterflies. You clean up all the scars and cuts. And you bandage up the memories from broken promises and wasted tears. You keep me safe when the outside world is too much to bear. It’s your familiar grin. Your sexy stare. And how good your kiss tastes.

It is you. And it is everything. Everything I have ever craved for. Everything I’ll be lingering onto.

The thought of losing you is unimaginable.

I’m letting you go because I want you too much. I want you to be the one I share my days with. I want you to be the one I cry to when all the weight is on my shoulder. I want to lean on to you in times of weakness. I want to fit your life into mine, oozing it into the cracks and empty spaces. I want to shape my dreams around yours; no longer mine, but ours.

I’m letting you go because I miss you too much. I miss you late at night when I have no one to share about how my day was. I miss you at most mornings when I don’t find your good-morning texts anymore. I miss you at 2 AM when I’m drunk on my front porch listening to the rain fall and every sad song after sad song after sad song that Spotify is feeding me.

I’m letting you go because I can’t bear losing you. If we cross paths for the third time, I promise to do you right. I promise to make your heart beats faster and to fill your stomach with butterflies.

I promise to clean up all the scars and cuts that other women have put on. I will bandage up the memories from broken promises and wasted tears. I promise to keep your heart safe. I promise to listen to you when you are angry.

I promise to shower you with kind words, and never make you wish you never had met me. And in case you come back, you can stay. Because I’m going to give the world to you.