Here’s what’s open on Christmas:
1. Taco Bell. Because nothing says birth of Christ quite like a cheesy gordita crunch and a baja blast.
2. Burger King. So that you can grab one of those crowns and pretend to be one of the three wise men. Alternately, just so you can eat overly salted fries on Christmas.
3. Denny’s. In case you need to kick everyone out of your house on Christmas morning and make them eat a mediocre meal so your feast will taste better by comparison. If you need to manage expectations, send your family to Denny’s.
4. Albertson’s. While it might not be your go-to grocery store, it’s one of your only options on Christmas Day, so you should become a fan as soon as possible. You’re going to need to buy something on Christmas — probably seltzer.
5. CVS, Walgreens, and Rite Aid. If one is going to be open, the others sure as hell aren’t missing out.
6. Fresh ‘n’ Easy. But if you’re looking for them in Southern California, they’re all closing.
7. Waffle House. If you’re feeling nostalgic or need hash browns.
8. Dave and Buster’s. Because if you thought Denny’s was the most depressing place you could go on Christmas, D&B wanted to prove you wrong. (JK, I actually think Dave and Buster’s could be a pretty fun way to hang out with family on Christmas. Like, games and drinking? What could be bad?)
9. Applebee’s. How To Celebrate Christmas By Getting Drunk On Discount Margaritas.
10. Starbucks. If you need one last Gingerbread Latte.
11. Dunkin Donuts. If you need to show up your cousin with the Gingerbread Latte by breaking out the real coffee.
12. McDonald’s. All Day Breakfast: Christmas Edition
13. Panda Express. But for the love of God, you can find better Chinese food at ANY local, family-owned place.
Here’s what’s open on Christmas Eve:
14. Trader Joe’s is open until 6 PM on Christmas Eve, but then closed on Christmas because the Hawaiian shirt folk need a day of R ‘n’ R.
15. Costco is open from 9 AM – 5 PM , so if you want to buy in bulk do it before the 25th.
16. 7-Eleven is open 24 hours on Christmas, so get your slurpee on.
17. Whole Foods is open from 7 AM – 7 PM. To buy gold, frankincense and organic myrrh.
18. Michaels is open from 7 AM – 6 PM on Christmas Eve. In case you need to stock up and make some last-minute crafts for everyone you forgot to buy a present for.
19. IKEA is from 10 AM – 4 PM, if you need an extra table for the next day’s festivities.
20. Barnes & Noble is open from 8 AM – 6 PM for last-minute gifts.
21. Nordstrom is open til 6 PM if you desperately need a personal shopper the day before Christmas.
22. Macy’s, Kohl’s, Sears, Marshall’s, BJ’s, Best Buy and Gap are all open til 6 PM.
23. Hobby Lobby is open til 5:30 PM. No one is surprised that they aren’t open on Christmas Day. If you haven’t heard, they’re religious.
24. The Apple Store is open til 6 PM, and please someone go buy me a new computer.
25. Target is open til 9 PM and Kmart is open til 10 PM. Because they want to help you out late into the night.