1. You catch yourself thinking about sweatpants and hot chocolate at least once every three hours.
2. You didn’t get enough time off for Thanksgiving. You worked all day the day before Thanksgiving, were on email while everyone else was basting the turkey, and were supposed to take the day after Thanksgiving off, but didn’t because your boss kept calling you before 9 AM.
3. You are done with weather. Fucking DONE. You do not need snow, and you have so many regrets about any time you’ve ever said, “Oh, I love New England in the winter!” or “I could never live in a place without seasons.” Yes, you most certainly could live in a place without seasons and all you want is to be able to stay the fuck inside for a week straight.
4. Your weeks and your weekends are booked solid for the next three weeks and you have no clue when you’re going to find time to get presents for anyone.
5. You wake up tired. You have a cup of coffee, and you’re tired. You go to a meeting, and don’t take notes because you’re incredibly busy thinking about how tired you are.
6. You have been putting off running errands for weeks — you need to buy new gloves, and hell, you really need to buy toilet paper, and do laundry and, honestly, you aren’t even sure if you have clean socks that you can wear tomorrow.
7. You have read this sentence three times in a row, and still have no idea what it says because you aren’t comprehending anything at this point. You’re reading this list, like, 50% just to look like you’re doing something other than staring at the wall right now.
8. You have about seven Spotify playlists going at once (and a few Songza playlists thrown in) that are covering all your holiday music bases. In your mind, you’re kicking back, reclining in a plush, slightly worn suede chair, with a cat on your lap, and tea in hand. The fact that, in reality, you’re just sitting in a plastic office chair that doesn’t even swivel is upsetting you.
9. You’re not even sure you can call your holiday break a true “vacation,” because your office only has 2.5 days off, and one of those days is a SATURDAY, but you’ll take anything you can fucking get.
10. You keep crossing things off your to-do list, without actually having done them. You’ll just look down at your piece of paper, and decide that you don’t REALLY need to do it. It can wait until the new year.
11. You are aggressively ignoring the chick in your office/dorm room/on your Facebook feed that is using her vacation days to spend a week in Aruba. You refuse to like her “countdown to Aruba” on Facebook, and have absolutely zero intention of double tapping her minimalistic packing photo on Instagram.
12. You go home at night and watch holiday movies. Your cover photo is “To Me, You Are Perfect,” because you are a Love Actually person through and through. You try to convince your boss/coworkers/professors that what you need to do is just screen Love Actually during lunch (and into the afternoon), and can’t believe the idea hasn’t had much traction.
13. You wake up every morning hoping for a snow day, even if you haven’t seen snow yet this season because global warming is rearing its very real and ugly head.
14. You went out and bought a pine scented air freshener for your desk to make it smell more seasonal. You’re not entirely sure how it’s therapeutic, but you know that it is.
15. You look forward to three parts of your day: lunch, dinner, Netflix during dinner. Okay, maybe that’s two parts.
16. You need a hug. Also, a back rub. Also, like, maybe you just need to call your mom and dad and vent.
17. You had never used g-chat until, like, three weeks ago, and now you use it constantly simply because you are procrastinating from the mountain of work that still stands between you and the holidays. While it’s lovely to spend your day catching up with friends, how many g-chats can you actually send saying, “I want to leave work early.”
18. You spend a lot of time thinking about how Uber delivers puppies. Like, how do they orchestrate that? Is it expensive? Does it combat seasonal affective disorder? Asking for a friend.
19. You’ve had that song about chestnuts roasting on an open fire stuck in your head for exactly 79 hours, and all you can think about is the fact that the line “Jack Frost nipping at your nose” kinda sucks because … nipping? Really?