23 Joey Tribbiani Lines That Will Either Get You Laid, Or Get You A Smack Across The Face, Depending On How You Play Them


1. “Well, the fridge broke, so I had to eat everything.”

2. “These are just feelings, they’ll go away.”

3. “You hung up on the pizza place? I don’t hang up on your friends!”

4. “Over the line? You’re so far past the line you can’t even see the line. The line is a dot to you.”

5. “I’m curvy… AND I LIKE IT.”


6. “You can’t have S-E-X when you’re taking care of a B-A-B-I-E.”

7. “If he doesn’t like you, this is all just a moo point. Yeah, like it’s a cow’s opinion. It just doesn’t matter.”

8. “Food. Sex. Food. Sex. I don’t know! Oh God, I want both!”

9.How you doin’?

10. “No, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. I’m out.”

11. “Wanna come in for a drink and a bite of corsage?”

12. “Remember when you were a kid and your mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon?”


13. “So I’m gonna get on this spaceship and go to blangon 7 in search of alternative energy fuels. And when I return, 200 years from now, you’ll be gone. But I won’t have aged at all. So, you tell your great, great great granddaughter to look me up. Cause Adrian, baby, I’m gonna wanna meet her.”

14. “I am thankful for this beautiful fall we’ve been having. Yeah, the other day, I was at the bus stop and this lovely fall breeze came in out of nowhere and blew this chick’s skirt right up. Oh, which reminds me. I’m also thankful for thongs.”

15. “You can’t have Thanksgiving without turkey. That’s like Fourth of July without apple pie, or Friday with no two pizzas.”

16. “I mean, what’s not to like? Custard, good. Jam, good. Meat, good!”

17. “Well, the tough thing is she really wants to have sex with me. I still got a week left to go in the program and according to the rules if I wanna get the money I am not allowed to conduct any personal experiments, if you know what I mean.”

18. “I have two words for you: threesome.”

19. “I don’t care how old you are, as long as you’re under my roof, you only live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.”


20. “That was just a theory. There’s a lot of theories that didn’t pan out. Lone Gunman. Communism. Geometry.”

21. “Je de coupe plough!”

22. “I think you’ll be very, very happy. It’s the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.”

23. “I used to get medical experiments done on me all the time!” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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