15 Struggles Only People Who Are In Relationships But Love Spending Time Alone Understand


1. You don’t always like to share things. Whether it’s a car, an apartment, a cat, or the remote. You’re used to having things your way and while you’re happy to accommodate someone else, it’s, admittedly, not your default mode. Being particular isn’t a crime.

2. You try not to melt down and when something in your apartment is out of place, because your significant other misplaced something. On the one hand, you are fair, and don’t hold them to an unreasonable standard. And on the other hand, can’t they just respect the order around here?

3. You have trouble explaining to your significant other that your need to be alone doesn’t stem from not wanting to be around them, it is simply because you need to recharge. Not all couples like to spend every waking hour together, and that’s not a bad thing. Some people savor time with a significant other even more after taking some “me” time.

4. You like your music, more than you like anyone else’s music. It’s not that your significant other has bad music taste, it’s that your music taste really doesn’t need to be improved.

5. You appreciate cooking for one, on occasion. Of course, it’s amazing to have a partner to cook dinner with, spend time with, or go out to eat with. But, occasionally, you like to cook whatever specific food you like, that the other person can’t stand, and not have to worry about what the other person is going to eat.

6. If your significant other thinks working out together would be a good time, LOL THEY’RE WRONG. You don’t want to sweat together— not in workout clothes at least. Running, heading to the gym or doing sit-ups in your living room is something you like to do for yourself, by yourself.

7. Your friends discredit your need to be alone when you’ve been in a couple for so long. It’s hard to explain that sometimes the best surprises for the other person come when you’ve had some alone time and decided to do something special for the other person.

8. You aren’t amazing about planning around someone else, despite your best efforts.

9. You are known for not responding to texts/calls for hours on end. If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you have some sort of work around for this, like giving their phone calls a separate ring tone. It sounds cutesy, but actually, it’s just necessary.

10. You aren’t one of those ~share the shower~ couples. You just want to get clean. There’s other time for other things.

11. You resent people who assume you come in a pair. Having a significant other doesn’t mean you only show up to places as a duo. Some couples think of themselves as a “we,” but you’d prefer other people think of you as two separate people, not one coupled off blob.

12. You aren’t in a rush to make it to the milestones. Even if you have been together for a long time, you have enough faith in your relationship to know that you don’t need to rush toward moving in together, engagement, or even co-owning an animal. You’re open to these things down the road, and have talked about it, but aren’t keen to tell the world that quite yet.

13. You’re learning to balance your relationship with your commitment to your friends and family, and find it slightly more challenging than you thought it would be. Of course, each one of these groups is integrated, but you still want to devote alone time to your S.O., your friends, your family, and, let’s be real, yourself. And it’s hard to find the hours in the day to do all that and, ya know, have a job and pay bills and such.

14. You genuinely worry about what the hell you’re going to do if you ever get married and have kids because having that many people around you at all hours of the day and no privacy sounds like actual hell. But, despite all of that, you might still want children, or a life partner.

15. You know your relationship is working when your partner gives you the alone time you need, without even being asked. They see when you’re getting antsy, they know all the signs, and understand when you just need to retreat, and take time to yourself. It never makes them question the relationship, because your quirks are one of the reasons they were attracted to you in the first place. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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