Date A Woman Who Is Medium Maintenance

We can’t all be low maintenance.

We might lean that way when it comes to the simpler things. We primp to our comfort level. We wear make up, but more to accentuate features and cover dark circles. Less to chase down the perfect smokey eye, unless the occasion calls for it. We enjoy getting ready, but aren’t laboring over every detail.

We’re not worried about perfection, but we’ve made at least a marginal effort.

We like the idea of low maintenance in terms of effort, not in terms of emotion.

Low maintenance went from being relaxed and unconcerned about hair to “low drama.” And somehow “low drama” got translated to “emotionless.”

We aren’t trying to be emotionless.

We are not the most easy going, or the chillest. We don’t “just go with it.”

If you do something wrong, the low maintenance woman will let it slide. The high maintenance one will start a fight, throw a tantrum or not answer your calls for a week.

We are in the middle. We’ll call you out when something’s wrong, but are fair about it.

We’re women whose classification will never be low maintenance because we won’t sacrifice our need to verbalize if something’s bothering us. We would rather go in search of real connection, regular interaction and honesty, than chase down the “not like other girls” label.

We’re unwilling to hold something in, but don’t need to cause a scene to prove a point.

We won’t get overly dramatic, but we’ll stick up for ourselves.

We aren’t trying to meet people and paint an unrealistic picture of ourselves. That seems too exhausting to maintain.

We are imperfect works in progress. And we’re honest about it.

We’ll reveal, a few dates in, that we’re aware of our imperfection and that’s what disqualifies us from the low maintenance category. Because understanding that we’re flawed means occasionally letting those flaws show. We’re comfortable talking about the shit we do and don’t have together.

But a flawed girl can’t be low maintenance. And that’s okay, because we wouldn’t want to settle for less than what we are.

We aren’t difficult to date, but we have standards on how we should be treated. They won’t be egregious, but we’ll make them known.

Like most things in the middle, we lack the extremes and can be overlooked for that exact reason. It’s easy to get lost in the sea of high and low maintenance labels. Mediums are rarely celebrated. Female protagonists are a quiet, shy girl turned knock out, or a high maintenance lady who’s loud and proud. It leaves no room for the in between, because we’re not enough of a caricature.

There’s no ode to the medium maintenance because neutral doesn’t have a positive connotation.

And it should. Neutral doesn’t mean bland. We’re not bland. We’re just not begging for your attention.

We are not low maintenance enough to avoid complaining about trivial things, on occasion. We will never be able to parade around in heels and call them comfortable — not even if they’re wedges. If you ask if our feet hurt, we can’t laugh it off and say, “Oh no, these are just my standard heels.”

We can laugh it off, but we’ll tell the truth. They hurt like hell. But thanks for asking.

We’re honest. We’re trying to be our best, but we can’t be on all the time. We have low points and are learning we can’t always please people. But we’re constantly trying. And while that means we don’t have effortless, low maintenance charm, we can laugh at ourselves, love genuinely and the qualities we bring to the table are lasting. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


More From Thought Catalog