1. You’re done with the not-so-refined art of text fighting because you no longer have the time to engage in petty arguments, especially with someone who still writes, “see you later” as “c u later.”
2. You aren’t still trying to be friends with your ex. You’ve accepted that chasing down a friendship with someone you used to love is futile because an ex is an ex for a reason.
3. You no longer feel the need to hang out with people you used to know just because they’re in town. You appreciate it if a high school acquaintance or a friend from study abroad reaches out, but if you can’t make it to see them, you won’t beat yourself up over it. You’re separating the “should” friendships from the friendships you actually want to be in.
4. You’ve accepted that you can’t stay friends with every single person from every stage in your life.
5. You’re done with obligation friends. Just because your friends are friendly with someone, doesn’t mean you also need to be. Friendships by default don’t demand your attention.
6. You are willing to spend extra money when your best friend comes to visit, but you no longer feel the need to house someone you met that one time, or drop $40 at a bar to show them a ~good time~.
7. You’ve narrowed your friend group enough that you’re actually able to treat them and buy them presents on their birthday, which is something you wouldn’t do for arbitrary friends.
8. You’ve stopped hooking up with people in your friend group. For the most part.
9. Instead of gossiping about a friend’s boyfriend you can’t stand, most of your conversations revolve around work, family, and other REAL things. Who someone slept with and why you don’t like is no longer relevant conversation.
10. You’ve learned to call a situation exactly what it is – no more, no less. You’re no longer afraid to call people on their bullshit. If you’re just hooking up with someone, you’re not trying to pass them off as the new love of your life. But if you are interested in starting a relationship, you’re not afraid to say so.
11. You actively try to make sure you don’t lose your patience on the phone with your parents or siblings. It’s not a relationship you ever want to be rid of, but it’s definitely a relationship that could have less drama.
12. You and your partner are open and communicative. Not only do you verbalize if they’re out of line, but you’re on the same page in terms of commitment and how serious you are.
13. You’ve lost relationships and are at peace with that fact. You’re not trying to resurrect an old romance, or get back together with your ex best friend. Anyone who has wronged you, made you feel less than what you are or tried to control you is out of your life. You appreciate their friendship for what it was, but you don’t want it back.
14. You’re sick of hearing other people complain about situations that could so easily be fixed by facing the problem head on. You’re not afraid to give them direct advice if you think it could actually help.
15. You’re not sitting, waiting on things to change. You’re being proactive in more than one facet of your life.
16. You don’t have frenemies. That’s not a word in your vocabulary. You’re not 16.
17. You’re fine sitting out an event, or just staying home. You’re over FOMO because you’ve realized that you absolutely don’t miss out if you stay in one night and skip drinking with people you weren’t keen on seeing.
18. You aren’t still waiting on apologies you’ll never get. You can’t grant forgiveness to every person, and you’ve put your former break ups in the past, even if you don’t have closure.
19. You honestly just don’t have time to sweat the small stuff. You have a job, a life and it’s challenging enough to give everyone you care about the effort they deserve, without worrying about the insignificant dramatic details.