More than anything, I admire decisive women.
We’re always told that if we aren’t asking for permission, we’re asking for forgiveness. The woman I’m taking about does neither. She doesn’t seek your approval nor does she care for your forgiveness. She just stands up and says here’s what I’m doing and fuck you if you don’t like it.
There’s something about making decisions without question or regard for consequence that has an underrated appeal.
Do you know how hard that is? To choose a path and blatantly tell people the plan instead of asking for their advice?
It requires muting every voice – those of the people around you, and the ones in your head – that tell you you’re making the wrong choice.
Look around at the women in your life and I guarantee you at least one of them is this exact breed. She’ll take your breath away, not because of the way she looks, but because of what she’s doing and how she’s doing it.
The “it” is almost irrelevant. In my life, I can point to women who devoted their lives to raising kids on their own, who chose to travel the world instead of getting married off, or who went back to school after years off. But really it’s any woman who said yes to the far more challenging option because they knew they wanted it enough to make it work.
These are not the women who dabble in being ~rebellious~. They are the women who have one beautiful plan and nothing to fall back on. The women who didn’t take the help, even though it may have been offered to them. The woman that were offered a perfectly decent path and decided to take the extraordinary one instead.
Don’t try to stop her.
Accept that she won’t shy away from the advice that she doesn’t like. She’ll give you a full explanation of why you’re wrong. She will never succumb to something based on your cautions. She won’t let you see her falter.
She will be hot headed, rash and fired up. She will, occasionally, get upset at you when it’s not your fault. But she will be worth it because her passion knows no bounds.
She will never bore you.
She will defend what she believes in and ruthlessly argue her point of view. What you don’t realize is that when you’re not in the room she will defend you the same way.
She might choose a path that doesn’t have you in it. You can come into her life and become a priority, but you will never take the place of priorities she already has. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you, it means she loves her freedom too.
She is real. She says what she feels when she feels it. She is not a “long texter” or a “short texter” or a “distant texter.” If something merits a long response, she’ll send back a novel. If she’s being short with you, it’s because she’s busy. She is open about her sexuality, her make-up regiment and her donut intake. These are just details, and she’s not shy about exposing them.
Hope that she’ll give you enough time to get to know you. If she says she will, she actually means it. If she says it’s not the right time, trust that it’s not a ploy to get out of seeing you, or make you work harder. She just has other priorities that require her attention. She’s consumed with pushing against the confines of her own life and everything else sometimes pales in comparison.
If you can get her love, hold on to it. It’s rare that she would give her heart away. Not because she’s protecting it, but because she’s thrown it into so many other things. Places. People. Work. Life. The best you can do is try to keep up.