1. Lack of trust on one side. In other words, if they are constantly texting you while you’re out with friends, or when you hang out with friends of the opposite sex. It seems fine if it’s just his norm, but it’s never okay for someone to make you feel like you’re doing something wrong.
2. Lack of trust on both sides. “He’s particular about who I hang out with, but I’m the same way.” That doesn’t make it okay. That just means the problem is twice as bad.
3. A major divide in values. If you’re with someone whose life long dream is to have children and you are absolutely unwilling, it’s going to be a problem down the road. It’s not that either of you are wrong, but sometimes you have to accept that there are other people better suited for your partner than you.
4. Not seeing eye to eye on how much alcohol/weed/hard drugs is too much. If you think getting drunk on a Tuesday is fine, but your partner adamantly opposes being excessive, what happens when you get comfortable enough to start voicing those opinions?
5. If you’re both getting out of long relationships. In theory it’ll work because you both need support and understand the other’s position. But following that scenario through to the end, if one party ends up still having feelings for an ex, it’s going to be hard for a relationship to move forward.
6. Being a social media psycho. No one wants to stay with the person who posts a Facebook update about every hour of their life. If you’re sharing relationship intimacies just to accumulate likes, you’re seeking validation in the wrong places.
7. If your friends have never actually met them and you’ve been dating for more than 4 months.
8. Having hugely different opinions in terms of how you think money should be spent, saved, or shared.
9. Getting into the habit of sneaking things behind your partner’s back. If you’ve ever dated someone who’s been addicted to a substance unbeknownst to you, you know that it doesn’t go well when they finally come clean.
10. Location preferences. If your significant other always talks about moving across the country, it seems like you’re fine until it comes to fruition. But if you’re opposed to moving you have a hard stop down the road.
11. If your mom hates him.
12. If their least annoying habits drive you up a wall. It’s one thing to be frustrated by sleeping next to someone that grinds their teeth. But if their perfectly normal habits get under your skin, there’s something else bothering you.
13. Pushing someone to say, “I love you.”
14. Forgetting to say, “I love you.”
15. If they have one friend who hates you, it doesn’t seem like a problem. But if the friend is being outwardly rude to you and your significant other isn’t sticking up for you, it introduces a whole host of other issues.
16. Relationship dry spells. Couples get busy, things come up, people take trips, parents come to visit. Not having sex becomes your norm, or you keep pushing it off because it’s a rut you’ll probably get out of.
17. When both people in the relationship are overly competitive. It seems really fun until you get in a huge fight over a game of Taboo.
18. If there’s one person in the relationship who likes to receive oral sex, but refuses to reciprocate.
19. When you had to force yourself to like them in the first place. The “he had to practically beg me to date them” is a cute story and it really does work for some. For others, it’s just a reminder that they got into a relationship because it was comfortable, not because they really wanted it.
20. If your friends voice concern, or worse, want to voice concern but feel like they can’t. Sure, it’s not about them and friends don’t see a relationship behind closed doors, but people outside a situation pick up on problems you’re refusing to acknowledge.
21. Romantic leaps of faith. Moving in together, moving across the country together, rushing to marry because of the ~greatest reason of all~: Love. It’s beautiful unless one party wasn’t really ready for it.
22. The “Do you believe in God” divide. (What are you going to teach your children?)
23. The “Do you believe in Kanye” divide. (A general hatred for the other’s music taste is fine unless it reveals that you’re unwilling to compromise.)
24. The “Do you believe in me?” divide. You can challenge each other, but in the end, each party has to believe in the other’s purpose. Someone who only believes in themselves and assumes they can take control of the relationship is showing they don’t believe in their partner.
25. The “to save yourself or not” debacle. If you’re trying to save yourself and they lost their virginity 10 years ago, it can still work. But if they aren’t willing to accommodate and respect your no-sex clause, that’s a dealbreaker.
26. Talking down to your partner in group settings. The worst sight in the world is watching a boyfriend/girlfriend check their phone every time their significant other starts to speak. It’s an announcement to the group that there’s no respect in your relationship.
27. Never treating your partner to a meal. Seems harmless if you’re a **go dutch** kind of couple. But after a few years the fact that you won’t buy them dinner on their birthday stops being progressive and starts being shitty and selfish.
28. Adamantly refusing to try new things in bed.
29. The messy/neat factor. An equally tolerance for clean or perpetually coffee-stained surfaces is a must. If not, your strewn coffee grounds or the jeans you toss on the floor and never pick up after sex, are going to get brought up in a blow out fight.