1. You tend to enjoy the sense of superiority that comes with being right and are not at all shy about it. When someone disagrees with your morality codes and you end up being right, the victory’s just sweetened. Sorry ‘bout it.
2. You are fairly convinced that the people who claim “rules are meant to be broken” are just looking for an excuse. It’s a nice sentiment, but you’re not buying it.
3. You only want to win if you actually won fair and square. Otherwise, it’s not winning. It’s just a limp, watered down version of completing the game.
4. People will complain about your insistence on following instructions. They will call you “mom” or “dad” and tell you to lighten up. But at the end of the day, they need someone like you. For every rule-breaker of the group, you need a rule-follower to reel everyone in and make sure you don’t all get arrested.
5. Yes, you DO hear your self being stubborn. No, you DON’T care, but thanks for asking.
6. You’re maybe not the best person to play board games with because you’ve been known to yell about rule violations. You also don’t see the point of even playing if you’re not keeping score.
7. But as long as no one messes with you during Taboo, you get along really well with everyone.
8. You like to surround yourself with people who are infinitely more mellow than you because they bring a sense of calm to any situation that you could never bring because you have no chill.
9. You try not to jaywalk. You prefer to wait patiently on the curb and if ever you do break your own rule and jaywalk, you dart through the street on high alert, looking for cops in every direction.
10. You like deadlines. If people aren’t imposing deadlines on you, then you like to impose them on yourself. Preferably with instructional charts and meticulously written out schedules.
11. When someone tries to cut corners in terms of rules re: group project from hell, you’re the one who steps up and nazis their ass.
12. You have a secret soft spot for Marnie on “Girls.” You tried to defend her in the early seasons.
13. After a break-up, you will point to 80 things your ex did and give your friends an in depth explanation as to why what your ex did wasn’t fair. Fairness is incredibly important to you.
14. You will never leave trash in public places. That is gross and you will go out of your way to make sure you leave your area clean.
15. People always say rules can’t be fun, but they’re WRONG. RULES ARE FUN. When you have guidelines to adhere to, it maximizes the fun quotient for everyone. Why don’t more people realize that?
16. It’s not that the other person’s wrong, it’s just that you’re right. Okay. Actually. The other person’s wrong.