16 Surprisingly Intimate Things You Only Reveal In A Secure Relationship

1. Your hygiene frequency. You reveal how often you actually shower, how long it takes you to straighten, or curl or gel your hair. You see how often your partner actually brushes their teeth, and if they ever stop to floss.

2. The times of day you prefer to have sex. You will reveal yourself to be a morning sex, post-party sex, before meals or gatherings, or an afternoon sex person. Or maybe you’re all of the above, in which case God bless.

3. The bizarre things you find funny. They will become your best friend in that they will learn what will always get a laugh out of you. And they’ll know how to use it to get out of tight spots.

4. Your fears. Your fears about what’s coming next, about your job, your life and even your fears about your relationship. You will share it all, because you’ve created an open space where you can work through concerns, even the concerns you have for the other person.

5. What you actually wear to bed. Not the teddy you wore on your first night together, or the I-totally-sleep-nude-every-night thing you tried to pull off in the early months. The real oversized-sweatshirt-basketball-shorts deal.

6. Your relationship shortcomings. They know your faults, whether that means you aren’t great about communicating when you’re upset, or that you cheated in your last relationship. They don’t hold it against you, it just helps them understand what you need in a relationship.

7. What you want your future to look like. Or the fact that you have no idea what you want your future to look like.

8. The family secrets. The trivia, the classic stories, the skeletons in the closet, who went to rehab, etc. If your S.O.’s been around long enough, they’ve heard every story, multiple times.

9. Your most bizarre food choices and combinations. You get to the point when you know what their go-to drunk food, comfort food and I’m-so-hungry-I-could-eat-anything-but-I-actually-want-fries food is. You’ll end up learning that they eat uncooked pasta, or chili from the can, or have a weird obsession with McDonald’s breakfast.

10. All the weird nicknames your friends or family have for you, that you tried to steer your partner clear of.

11. Where your values came from. Not just whether you and your partner’s values align, but why they believe and think and want whatever it is they do. You learn the who, what, where, when and why of what shaped their values.

12. That you’ve been using their toothbrush for the last two weeks because you can’t find yours and you keep forgetting to buy a new one.

13. Your opinions of their friends. What you thought of them when you started dating, and what you think of them now.

14. Your productivity habits. They know the difference between you actually working and you pretending to work while having a meltdown. They know which environments you work best in and that you can’t actually get work done while watching television, listening to music, etc.

15. How much coffee you actually drink, versus your demur promise of “only 2 cups a day.”

16. What your life and relationship look like outside your Facebook and Instagram account. An Instagram documents the weekend getaways, the oh-so-candid laughter and the milestones of a relationship. It won’t show you the phone calls in the middle of the night after you’ve had a panic attack. It won’t show you the fights or the real, every day habits of your relationship. If you and your partner are in a secure relationship, you’re revealing every unfiltered part of yourself.