21 Signs You’ve Had A Fake ID For Too Long (And Need To Turn 21 Already)

1. You have someone to vouch for you (bartender, manager, bouncer) at every bar in town and all of your friends are confused as to how you have these connections.

2. When you actually turn 21, you’ll give you collection of fake IDs to the bouncers so they can finally collect the ID confiscation incentives you’ve been depriving them of. They did you a lot of favors by not taking your ID and you’re ready to give back to the community.

3. Even though you’re turning 21 after all of your friends, you still managed to be the person bringing them into the bar on their 21st.

4. You’re well practiced in the art of taking a lap because the person who’s old ID you have is already in the bar.

5. You’ve been known to adopt the style of whoever your fake once belonged to in order to “really sell it.”

6. You spend way too much time coaching everyone on their fake ID strategy: Cost-benefit analysis, when to just walk away, etc.

7. You’ve become known as “the one who’s not 21” and IT’S GETTING REALLY OLD.

8. The second you turn 21, you’re considering abandoning make-up, low shirts or anything else you deemed necessary to get you into the bar.

9. You know the general rotation of which bouncers work specific bars on any given night.

10. You have a personal vendetta against at least one bouncer, because of that one time they publicly humiliated you for having no writing on the back of your ID.

11. Your senses have been honed in such a way that you’re running out of the bar before anyone else has even seen the cops.

12. If your fake does get taken away, you’re not overly concerned because you have at least 3 back ups.

13. You fear well-lit bars. You need a dark one because that’s the only way you can pass for someone who’s a different race than you are.

14. Let’s be honest, you size up upperclassmen based on how much they look like you. Then you creepily find your connection to them to see if you can commandeer their old ID.

15. Two words: Pass backs.

16. You remind all the friends who make fun of you for being young that one day they’ll be jealous of your age. When they’re having a quarter or mid-life crisis, you’ll be an entire year younger.

17. You’re sick of only going out on off nights because that’s when it’s easy to get in. You’re never able to casually go get a drink and not have to think about it.

18. Recently, you’ve made a lot of promises to 18 year olds that *soon* you’ll be able to buy them alcohol. You’re about to be the Mother Theresa of alcohol to these kids.

19. Most authority figures in your life know by now that you’re the master of fake IDs. And they’re too busy making fun of you to be disciplinary.

20. If you went abroad long before your 21st, you know the struggle that comes with returning to America and suddenly having to deal with the drama of being under aged. Spain is definitely a country more suited to your needs.

21. It’s entirely possible that your friends are more excited about your birthday than you are because they won’t have to listen to you over think whether you’ll get into the bar. TC mark

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