1. Mastering the art of budget spreadsheets and budgeting apps. You downloaded Splitwise, Mint, Spending Tracker and Pocket Expense and now aggressively ignore all of them.
2. No longer spending money at a bar, unless there’s a $3 drink special. You know exactly how much money it costs to get you drunk, based on the pricing of your favorite cheap wine, beer or liquor.
3. You have a newfound Taco Bell addiction. (Okay, it’s not a newfound addiction, so much as it’s an old habit you’ve reappropriated.) You’re going at least once a week. You want to quit, but you can get SO MUCH FOOD for 4 dollars. It’s hard to walk away from that.
4. Whenever someone likes something in your apartment you instinctively go, “you like it? I’ll give it to you for 20 bucks. No, really. PLEASE?”
5. Your idea of celebrating St. Patrick’s Day was buying a Shamrock Shake because that’s so much cheaper than going out.
6. You no longer have communal food and booze lying around. When your friends say they’ll bring the wine, you’re the happiest person in the world.
7. You’ve completely exhausted your supply of free trials. You’ve abused every “one time only” deal and now you’re back to just regular Spotify (with ads) and a life without free Amazon Prime.
8. You are constantly furious at television shows for being so unrealistic when it comes to money. How. Did. Joey. Actually. Make. Rent? He must have been stripping on the side.
9. Trying to get used to making things you would go out for at home. You know you’ve made it when you successfully make your own Chinese food or green juice.
10. You no longer have anything to post on social media because you can’t afford to do anything anymore.
11. You have no idea what movies are out, or coming soon, because WHY WOULD YOU EVER GO OUT TO A MOVIE? Movie theaters in big cities are so obscenely expensive. You refuse to ever set foot in one.
12. When someone suggests Starbucks you’re floored that they’re willing to spend four dollars on coffee. Then you take a minute to consider your reaction and realize you’re probably turning into your father.
13. When someone walks into the office with take out while you’re eating your PB&J you’re like, “WHAT you think you’re better than me?” They couldn’t have just splurged and brought you back a donut or something?
14. You have at least 5 creative ways to make ramen in your arsenal. It’s like a new meal every night. Almost.
15. You originally got annoyed when your boss felt bad about how little you made. You now regret brushing off their pity because it would be great if they wanted to buy you a cup of coffee every so often.
16. You give yourself a pat on the back every time you refrain from buying a drink without complaining about it.
17. Your hair is way too long because no fucking way are you paying 45 dollars for a haircut. Instead, you will wait another few months and then go to one of the learning institutes, where you can get a $12 haircut.
18. You recently decided to get into running again because it’s free exercise! It’s perfect! The only problem is it would actually involve forcing yourself to go for a run.
19. You constantly talk about your new generic brand finds. Kroeger is now your brand of choice, and you officially think Whole Foods is where lofty dreams go to die.