You support the American dream. You put your heart into everything you do and believe that if you’re going to go for it, you ought to go all the way – which is why you order a Big Mac and fries. And it’s awesome.
You like weed and whimsical social media accounts. You are laid back and wear jeans to work. You like cheese. No, you REALLY like cheese. You may or may not have listened to this song on repeat in college.
Your job is frustrating and you seek refuge in Chipotle because by lunchtime you’re famished from getting the soul sucked out of you. You’re sick of people telling you that’s there’s more authentic Mexican (or a taco truck) down the street, you just want them to leave you alone with your burrito bowl. You’re looking forward to the day when you’re financially stable enough to not think twice about asking for extra guac.
Same as the Chipotle story, except there’s a Moe’s closer to you and after the day you’ve had you REALLY need queso. You also frequented Moe’s in college, and enjoy a nostalgic moment whenever someone says, “Welcome to Moe’s.”
This can go a few different ways:
1. You have a deep-seated childhood attachment to Burger King.
2. You don’t have any other fast food close to your campus that’s open at 2 a.m.
3. You enjoy buying the crowns for your friends ironically.
You have patience and a fervent need to explore anything you haven’t yet tried. You’re willing to wait in line because you have faith in the pay off. You believe in people and in the healing powers of milkshakes.
You’re on the west coast and whether you’re a transplant or not is irrelevant because a love for In-N-Out does not discriminate. You are unconventional in that you are down to mix different flavors to make unexpected combinations. You’re chasing your dreams. If you have a day job, you have passion projects on the side, which you pursue actively. You often think about In-N-Out even when you’re not there and you always ask for extra spread at the drive-thru window.
You grew up in the south or went to school there and the Waffle House sign will forever be a random source of comfort. Whether you moved far away or stayed in the south, you have a genuine appreciation for sticking to your roots. You have strong convictions and own a Waffle House mug that you once stole 8+ years ago and still display prominently on your shelf.
You’re an intense right-wing politico who firmly stands by Chick-Fil-A. Alternately, you strongly oppose Chick-Fil-A’s conservative, homophobic positions and desperately want to boycott them but your affinity for crispy chicken and waffle fries is too great. You’re a little indecisive, and are still trying to figure out exactly where you stand. You’ll get there, have another waffle fry.
You’re the kind of person who loves the free samples at Trader Joe’s. You appreciate all the free toppings because they’re free and they attain a level of personalization that is rare in a sometimes anonymous world. You pay attention to detail, and are stickler for a good toasted hamburger bun.
You’re a night person and you absolutely detest waking up early. Your college class schedule never included an 8 a.m., or even a 9 a.m. class. You like to get what you want (not in a spoiled way, just in a way that if you want a baked potato at 1 a.m. you’re not going to talk yourself out of it.)
You seek comfort and enjoy being enveloped in warmth, a feeling that can only come from mashed potatoes, gravy and fried chicken. Things are a little shaky, and you need something that you can count on, a friendly face. You found the Colonel.
You’re actually 5 years old and your mom is bringing you to get pizza and wings before you go bowling. Should you even be reading this?
After growing up in a family who exclusively went to Subway, one day you realized that Quiznos toasted their bread. You’re a pioneer, like Amelia Earhart. While you respect your family’s preferences, you seek something greater and are often restless until you find it. You also really like how Hannibul Burress says the word “Quiznos.”
Long John Silvers:
You’re confused. Much like Mr. Silvers, you might even be in the wrong industry. This chain may be the personification for anybad mistake you’ve ever made. It’s okay. We’ve all been there. Or maybe you just got back from study abroad and ran into the first American fast food chain you could find. Quench yourself with that greasy, oily food. Then go home and shower immediately to get the smell out of your hair.
You long for a simpler time, when girls wore poodle skirts and boys took them to the sock hop. When everyone pulled up to the A&W, got their malted milkshakes delivered to their car and then sipped them on the way to the drive-in. You love random, quirky, fun things, like using their plastic telephones to call in your order from 10 feet away. You also appreciate supporting local businesses (years ago, all the A&W franchise owners bought out their parent company and now collectively own it.)