1. Not initiating sex with your partner
Wanting sex means you’re a bad girl, right? At least that’s what we’re taught to believe. I’d like to challenge that belief by saying that wanting sex means you’re a living breathing human being. A sexual appetite is part of being human. If you were some sort of goddess or something from another dimension perhaps you’d be evolved beyond this simple drive but for now you eat, sleep, shit, and fuck. How’s that for frank?
Men like to be in control. Men like to be out of control. Play with the grey area in between and initiate sex the next time you feel like doing so. See what happens. You’ll probably be pleasantly surprised.
2. Worrying about what you look like
Who cares that you have cellulite? Certainly not the guy you’re banging wholeheartedly. He’s too busy responding to a partner who is engaged, fun & frisky. A partner who knows what she’s doing sexually. He doesn’t care about the tramp stamp tattoo from college and the fact that your toenail polish doesn’t match your fingernails. He could care less. What he wants is that slice of heaven between your thighs. He wants inside you, sister. The gift wrap doesn’t really matter, at this point, he’s digging into the present. So who gives a shit.
3. Believing he’s always up for sex
Sometimes he’s tired and cranky just like you. He may not always be in the mood. He’s not a wind-up toy, for God’s sake. Perhaps he had a rough day at the office or the kids are driving him nuts. Maybe he’s sweating that extra 10 pounds he put on or just way too wasted to have sex tonight. It happens. Go with the flow. He may not want it. That doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t want you – it means he doesn’t want the hot, sweaty, messiness of sex this instant. Give him a time out. Then reassess.
4. Not giving him guidance
Allow your body to move with his and suggest new ways of touching you. You don’t have to get out your laser pen and get buried in the details like a professor; rather, you can demonstrate what you like through non-verbals. Move his hands where you want them, establish the pace that you like, emphasize with your moans what feels nice. If you want to get all analytical tell him what you like. Men love it when women can be 100% honest about what turns them on. It takes the guesswork out of it.
5. Getting upset when he suggests something new
Variety is the spice of life. A few months back the guy I was with was interested in group action. That’s never been my thing, per se, but I’m open to new ideas. I didn’t get upset instead I got curious. I wanted to know what made this dude tick sexually. So group action was it? Hmmm… Well I’ve certainly heard worse… We ended up going to a couple of swinger’s parties and while the parties were depressing (everyone was really old and ugly) we came away with a newfound respect for one another. We kept it honest and that kept things interesting.