The Right Way To Be Friends With An Ex

Tirachard Kumtanom

Is it possible to be JUST FRIENDS with an ex? Of course. Is it common? No lol. Why you ask? Down below, I will teach you how I am able to be friends with all my exes (except 1 or 2 lol) and why others may not be able to.

1) How are you able to be friends with your exes?

I am able to be JUST FRIENDS with an ex because I accept the fact that we weren’t meant to be together. I can honestly say that NONE of my past boyfriends were right for me and what I TRULY want in a soulmate.

Yes, they were attractive, charming, rich and successful but that still wasn’t enough. Not because he wasn’t good enough or that I needed more but because we honestly weren’t good for one another. It’s crazy in this generation because LUST plays a major factor in the relationship and will have you thinking that you are in love when in all actuality you are just in LUST. Good sex will keep a guy around longer than he should (girls too). I know I stayed around longer than I should for that reason alone

2) When did you realize that guys weren’t meant to be?

I realized that my previous exes and I weren’t meant to be together due to various situations. For example, A lot of my exes didn’t want me to be successful, they wanted me to just stay at home and have kids, kill all of my dreams and just support them and their dreams. That to me is a major THIS ISN’T GOING TO WORK sign, What guy doesn’t want his girl to make her own paper? Let alone follow her dreams? It’s crazy to me because so many guys call girls “gold-diggers” but in the same breath fear successful career driven women.

So with that being said, if there are certain things in your life that you care about and are extremely passionate about and he wants you to dead those dreams. HE ISN’T THE ONE FOR YOU SIS. Someone who is truly meant for you will always motivate you and guide you, even if you fail and won’t say “I told you so” if you do, instead he will invest in your dreams and support you

3) How were you able to get over the heartbreak?

I am a true believer that the best way to get over something is to go THROUGH IT. I use to be the girl who rebounded quickly after a breakup only to find myself an emotional wreck. It wasn’t until 2012, that I actually dealt with a breakup and my previous relationship baggage. AND YES! I remember that time/year/month/date and person because that relationship took a TOLL ON ME. Heartbroken couldn’t describe the emotions I felt but it was needed because that’s when I finally found myself again. Life sometimes will break you down to rebuild you into a better person.

Sometimes heartbreaks occur to teach you a lesson while other times they occur because YOU were placed in someone’s life to teach THEM a lesson. So don’t take every failed relationship personally. It might not be YOU. It was just your purpose to teach your partner a thing or two.

4) How were you able to be friends?

I am able to be friends with an ex BECAUSE I get over it. I completely deal with every emotion, I accept the fact that we weren’t meant to be and I remain optimistic about the situation. I believe in Karma and I wouldn’t wish bad on my ex because I wouldn’t want bad wished for me. I stay optimistic in the sense that I know that there is someone out there who is better for me. I still haven’t had a guy legit be my best friend and make me 100% comfortable with myself and doesn’t judge/pick at me or the things I may do. So once I stumble across that person that exudes some of those qualities, I am fine with being single and dating. I see on Instagram couples doing face masks and being silly so I know that exist and I won’t settle until that. So I always keep in mind that he doesn’t have the qualities that I truly want and that it just wasn’t meant to be.

The Last Bit…

It is possible to be friends with your exes once you are emotionally past the relationship. I never bring up the past unless it’s us reminiscing about the good times. ALSO don’t set yourself up by sleeping with them again or even envisioning a rekindling. Just take things as it is. You guys are broken up and just enjoy the company and conversation that you guys are having at that exact moment. Having sex and talking a lot will only complicate things and ruin the potential friendship. I always establish and build a boundary with my exes so they know AIN’T NO SEX. YOU BLEW IT, BOY, lol. But no really, I never cross that line once it’s established. I hope that I helped babes. Until next time.. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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