1. The Gym Buff
How to identify: Pictures of him at the gym carrying dumbbells and flexing so you can see his biceps popping all over the place.
Why you should avoid: He will probably want to just stick to chicken and broccoli on a date. Do not be surprised if he judges you for ordering that piece of chocolate fudge cake. Nor will he whisk you away on a getaway because that will disrupt his gym schedule and diet. It is not about when are you free to see him, but rather how you fit into his gym schedule, if he even has any time left for you after spending all that time in the gym. Oh, and he will be checking himself out in the mirror more than he’ll be checking out you, sweetheart.
2) Finance Guys
How to identify: Rocking a suit holding nothing less than a glass of 18-year-old Macallan (sometimes accompanied by a cigar as well), smiling and exuding confidence and full of purpose in life.
Why you should avoid: You will never really understand what he does all day with dollar signs and numbers. Don’t bother asking, because he will not be able to explain what he does in 10 words or less. His life revolves around money, so how much he makes annually will definitely be a topic of discussion and he won’t understand your feelings unless you can explain it in dollars. Working many hours a week would mean he probably does not have the time to go out and meet people, and this is why he is on Tinder in the first place and once he gets you, he will not let you off the hook because he has already invested his time, and time is money to him.
We all think that finance guys have a large disposable income to take a girl out to a fancy restaurant. But no, this guy I met who was working in hedge funds took me to this little Thai eatery that did not even serve anything that tasted like proper Thai food. My Burmese grandmother would have cooked a better Pad Thai than them.
3) That Guy In Group Photos
How to identify: His main picture is a group shot and you would be swiping through to see the rest of the pictures just to find more group shots, and you still wouldn’t know which one he is. You just wasted a minute of your life.
Why you should avoid: Not all of us are fans of playing detective. He is probably the worst-looking person in the group anyway. Tinder is a photo-based app that allows you to judge people at face value in a snap. In conclusion, he has serious confidence issues.
4) That Guy In Photos With Other Girls
How to identify: You will see him surrounded by girls in picture after picture, and he is in the middle as always.
Why you should avoid: For one, they are probably all the females he has in his life. If he has that much action going on, why is he even on Tinder in the first place? If you want to meet the opposite sex, your photos should not be with the opposite sex.
5) The Dog Guy
How to identify: His main picture is a dog, followed by more pictures of his dog.
Why you should avoid: Simple—because his dog needs a bitch more than he needs a date.