Thought Catalog

Max Knoblauch

Max is a college journalist and comedy-stuff guy in New York. He writes and draws for his blog Underwater Breeding ...

Latest Posts

Merry Presidents Day!

Gerald R. Ford, Jimmy Carter: Long rumored to be the same man — New Jersey con artist Jack Levy — just with his hair parted in a different direction.

Kingdom Animalia

If another ram comes within like, a hundred yards of his mate, he tries his best to head butt that ram off of a mountain. Let me say that again. They head butt each other. On top of a mountain. Because of a goat.

Invite Me To Your Party

Now, I’m sure there are plenty of reasons why I’m not invited to parties. I’m not very cool. My scent has been described as tangy. I’m frequently on juice cleanses, and log a lot of bathroom time. But if I don’t know what the specific reason you’re not inviting me is, I can’t fix it. So, what is it?