I think about you every single day. I think about what you’ll look like. I think about what your personality will be like. I think about whether my family will love you and if yours will love me. I just think about you all the time.
Sometimes I wonder if I have already met you or if I will in the near future. A part of me wishes that you’re someone I have already met or have seen before, because then I can stop wondering where you are. But another part of me wishes you’re someone I haven’t met yet, because I like a little mystery. But who knows? You may be the next guy I date. Or maybe the one after that.
Either way, I can’t wait to see who you are, even though the thought of you terrifies me. I’m terrified that you might see me as “damaged goods” and won’t want anything to do with me. I’m terrified to take a big risk by giving you my whole heart. I’m terrified, because I have no idea what being in love is like. I never saw it growing up. I’ve never saw it in my past relationships.
Despite being terrified, I’m excited to meet you. I’m excited to see what our life together will be like. I’m excited to grow old together. I’m excited to see who I get to experience a lifetime of adventures with.
I pray for you everyday. I pray that you are safe, that you are healthy, that you are happy, and that you don’t give up on your hopes and dreams. I also pray that you come into my life soon, but only when I am ready. And lastly, I pray that I have the strength and courage to love you back.
Of course, there are some promises I ask of you. Promise me that when we get old, gray, and saggy, that you’ll still tell me how much you love me. Promise me that when I become insecure about myself, you’ll reassure me that everything about me is beautiful. Promise me that when I am scared to take a big risk, you’ll tell me not to be afraid. Promise me that, no matter how busy our lives get, you’ll continue to show me how much you care about me.
I want to slow dance with you in the middle of the living room, even if there isn’t any music playing. I want to take spontaneous road trips to unexpected destinations. I want to go wine tasting and get tipsy. I want to go to amusement parks and have you drag me on roller coasters in order to help me conquer my fear of them.
I want to go to the grocery store in the middle of the night and buy as much junk food as we can, then go home and pig out in bed while watching crappy movies. I want to cook together, but end up throwing food at each other and making a complete mess. I want to watch horror movies with you and bury my face in your arm during the scary parts. I want to spend the day with you at a bookstore reading comics. I want to become “soulmates.”
I’m not expecting us to be 100% compatible. I’m sure we’ll have many differences. We don’t have to share the same religion, beliefs, passions, opinions, etc. All what matters to me is that we are both open-minded. That we can learn to compromise and listen.
I believe things happen for a reason. God has a plan and he’ll lead me to you when the right time comes. But in the meantime, I’ll continue to live my life, discover who I am, actively meet new people, and find my purpose in life. I just hope that by the time I meet you (or by the time I figure out who you are), I have learned to fully love myself so that I have the ability to love you back. And I hope, wherever you are right now, you’re happy.
I can’t wait to meet you.