If you have ever been on a first date, you know that it can be an uncomfortable experience for both parties. What in blue blazes are we supposed to do to break that uncomfortable sexual tension? Well, let me tell you! Here are some 100% foolproof icebreaker conversation topics! Try them out. If they don’t work for you, there is a money back guarantee!
1. Things You Don’t Like
A lot of people will make the common first date mistake of talking about all the things they’re interested in. WRONG-O! The important things to mention are the things you HATE! What has your date learned after you tell them that you like chocolate and dogs? That you’re a living breathing human being. Mention that you really dislike HPV and chicken potpie. Now you’re getting somewhere! Besides, if you list all of the things you dislike, you’ll have so much more to talk about and relate to. Odds are, your date probably dislikes hate crimes and mosquitos just as much as you!
2. Find a Common Enemy
Whether you’re on a first date or in a job interview, you can be sure to break that uncomfortable ice by finding someone you and your date can mutually shit on. Maybe it’s the guy who took your coffee order at the counter or maybe it’s Brenda from accounting. Channel your inner middle school bully and hone in on their weaknesses together! The pressures of the conversation will quickly shift from you to Brenda’s adult braces and Crocs! Is it childish and cruel to victimize others due to your own insecurities? Of course it is. But would you rather talk about the weather or your thoughts on the new Transformers movie? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
3. Awful Roommates
Everyone has had a terrible roommate ONCE* in his or her lives. Subtly slip your horrible roommate into conversation! Soon you’ll both be laughing about the fact that your Communist roommate hid a dagger in his desk and it will be like you never even forgot your date’s name!
*Note: If your date doesn’t have any terrible roommate stories to tell, it is because THEY are the terrible roommate. You are now contractually obligated to break this news to them before running away as quickly as possible. No second date.
4. Daddy Issues
Let’s be real, who doesn’t have daddy issues? Discussing your father’s emotional distance is a great way to show that you aren’t afraid to discuss your feelings while also showing that you’re probably going to be a bit of work if this relationship continues. Getting to know your date’s daddy issues is like getting a glimpse into the future of your emotionally raw relationship together. You’ll learn that things won’t always be easy. Sometimes one person has to work harder than the other and no matter how hard you try, sometimes that person still chooses to leave you without any kind of explanation, DAD.
5. Previous Dates
Nothing says, “I’m confident in my dating abilities” like a compiled list of all your previous dates. Impress your date with tales of romantic walks through moonlit parks and holding hands and sobbing during Ghost: the Musical on Broadway. This will show your date that you are a great romancer like Matthew McConaughey in most of his movies. If those dates went well, be sure to point out all the areas in which you succeeded. This will impress your date. Also, be sure to blame any shortcomings on your previous romantic interest so that your new potential lover knows where to step up their game!
There you have it! Five foolproof icebreaker conversations for your next first date! Just remember, the most important part of a date is to be yourself and have fun. If your date doesn’t seem to like you much after talking about these tips, then they just aren’t worth your time!
Happy dating, friends!