3. You caught yourself defending Guy Fieri in a moment of weakness.
1. First things first: I’m the realest. (Obviously.) This party needs to be “Fancy,” if only to signify the transition of my “Starbucks Is Life” period to my “No More Drama” phase.
While you were getting your face tattoo removed, he messaged you on Tinder to remind you that it wasn’t a “date-date”
2. Cheese Hands: (Cheetos, whatever flavor of Doritos kids are eating these days)
2. You’re reading a list that’s so you, paid for by Mountain Dew, but still very much you.