15 Signs He’s Not Into You

While you were getting your face tattoo removed, he messaged you on Tinder to remind you that it wasn’t a “date-date”

How To Plan My Surprise Party

1. First things first: I’m the realest. (Obviously.) This party needs to be “Fancy,” if only to signify the transition of my “Starbucks Is Life” period to my “No More Drama” phase.

Internet Commenter Therapy

Therapist: I see. Well do you have any idea where you would have developed this sort of behavior—from your parents perhaps?

A Contortionist’s Letter Of Recommendation

Ryan is a well-rounded individual, as well as diagonal, congruent, perpendicular, and other geometrical qualities that met our incredibly strict flexible criteria. I had no choice but to hire him on the spot when I found him in my briefcase.