This is a lesson that I wish I would have learned long ago. I have broken hearts, ruined relationships, and am the sole reason why a few girls I’ve dated have trust issues. Don’t get me wrong, I never cheated, but I was not always honest about my intentions, behavior, or feelings.
There comes a turning point, when you’ve been so used to lying, that you start to believe your own lies and the line between fact and fiction gets maddeningly blurry. I reached that point multiple times over the course of my life, and only now am I realizing the true damage that I have done…not only to others but to myself.
See guys, the problem isn’t always in our behavior, the problem is we lie about behaviors or incidents that we don’t feel like arguing about. Sure, these are usually things that will cause a fight with your significant other and might even lead you to sleeping on the couch for a night. However, unless you’re out fucking strungout hookers, running a human trafficking ring, or spending your rent check on enough cocaine to put Charlie Sheen in rehab…chances are they’ll get over it. Most of the shit we do is not make it or break it for most girls. What is make it or break it is whether we own up to our mistakes.
In my past, I would lie about how much I drank when I was out, if I hit a joint, if any girls flirted with me (or if I flirted with them), how much money I spent, etc. NONE of these things would have caused more than a petty argument or small fight. Yet, these are the things that led to inevitable split. NOT because I did these things, but because I lied about doing them. And I lied consistently.
It reached a point where I got so used to just saying what I thought would get me out of an argument that my own reality started to reach a confusing state. Stories became jumbled, lies and truth blended together, and I was the sole reason for the impending implosion.
It’s over now, and I’m single (and enjoying it). I have learned from these mistakes and will not lie about my behavior, nor will I apologize for past mistakes. It is done. The best way to go through life is by marching to your own drumbeat, but doing it in a way that isn’t hurtful to others.
Embrace who you are and what you want, and you’ll find that life works out much easier for you. If you’re the type who likes to get drunk, flirt, smoke, and just let loose when you go out, then by all means fucking do it. Just don’t lie about it. You will get MUCH more respect in the long run.