The most important thing to remember when it comes to life is that everything won’t go exactly as planned. The many ebbs and flows of life can be very unpredictable in both painful and uplifting ways. But when it comes to healing and caring for a broken heart, the first thing to remember is that it will take time. When you offer your heart out, there’s always the chance that it will be given back to you shattered in pieces. That is unfortunately one of the risks that come with being vulnerable and showing your true self to someone you love.
In order to heal, though, you have to allow yourself to go through the proper stages. While this experience may be very painful, it’s also an amazing opportunity to make yourself a priority and put your needs and desires first. Things such as writing that book you’ve always wanted to write now that you have the time, learning a musical instrument, or even working on your other relationships. With every painful experience, there is an equal opportunity to create something great from it. Never forget that.
Here are three ways to help heal the wounds of a broken heart.
1. Reevaluate your life and where you’re going.
Our day-to-day actions create a projectile of where our life is going. We often make decisions on the basis of our significant other. But now that you are to make yourself a priority, it’s time to re-evaluate your life and where you’re going. Perhaps you always wanted to live in another country but didn’t want to give up what you were leaving behind. Perhaps you’ve always wanted to start a business that fulfills you, only you just didn’t have the time. Or perhaps you’ve even realized that you weren’t living true to who you are because your opinion of yourself was solely based on the person you were with. Now is the time to ask yourself the hard questions and figure out what YOU want. This is your life and YOU decide where you’re going from here.
2. Seek to understand what happened.
Instead of looking to blame or point the finger at what the problem was (or who the problem was, for that matter), instead look to garner a greater understanding of what happened and why the relationship ended. Are there things that you need to work on? Are there things that your partner perhaps needed that you wouldn’t give? Were you ever a perfect match in the first place? Taking a journal to write down your thoughts in order to fully and wholeheartedly understand the situation is one of the best things you can do to help yourself heal. In doing so, you not only declutter your mind of heavy emotions and thoughts, but you give yourself space and time to reflect on the situation so you bring to light the problems that you’ve been repressing.
3. Forgive both yourself and the other person.
Forgiveness is the last and most important way to heal your broken heart. When we’re hurt, we have so much pain, heaviness and darkness built up inside of us that we carry it around with us in our everyday life. I remember when I once had my heart broken, my perspective on life and everything around me was seen from a truly negative lens. It was only when I surrendered to what happened, accepting the situation for what it was, and forgave both myself and the other person for what happened that I was finally able to let go. Healing your broken heart is a process that may take some time. But offering forgiveness and relieving yourself of the dark emotions you’re feeling is something that you can begin doing right now.
While a broken heart is often seen as a testament for allowing yourself to be vulnerable, it is equally seen as a testament to your strength, your inner child, and your passion. We give away a lot of ourselves in relationships that truly mean something to us. But know that although the hurt and pain may be quite unbearable now, that doesn’t mean that it won’t heal with time, and it most certainly doesn’t mean that you will never love again. Your perfect match is out there for you. Time will tell, and everything will make sense when the timing is just right.