Sexting is a dangerous game for both parties. For men, it’s like confusing a pair of navy slacks for black ones; it just looks different with that lighting. For women it’s like sitting on a tarped hill listening to Charlie Hunnam read 50 Shades of Grey; you might get caught slippin’.
In light of the recent celebrity nude outrage, we’re all scratching our heads wondering if the age of sexting is coming to an end, but the brave people at Snapchat continue to fight the good fight by deleting our pics, so here’s how to make sure you’re safe and effective:
1. Establish An Audience
You can’t just Snap-sext willy-nilly. Like advertising, you have to establish a demand — unless it’s your significant other, in which case there aren’t really rules in regards to frequency and content. If you’re single and on the conservative side, it might be three potentials, and if you’re like me, you’ve relied on the best option: crowdsourcing.
To crowdsource, you simply send a Snapchat of yourself covered with a towel or something to all of your followers, with the caption, “The next one’s nude ;)” After they open it, send another one and say, “Just kidding, but the next one really is ;)”
Note the amount of time people took to open your second Snap, the ones who opened it without hesitation are your fans.
2. Limit Your Snap’s Time
One possible downside of Snapchat is that it can’t stop the user from screenshotting your sext; that’s why you need to play it safe by limiting it to a ONE second view time, because that’s hardly long enough to pull off the two-hand or one-hand-claw screenshot. I also recommend imposing a strict zero-tolerance, ‘one strike you’re out’ policy.
Once you and your fans establish a mutual trust, you can spoil them with a three second Snap.
3. Never Use Flash
Nothing makes you look more pale and corpse-like than flash, it’s too reminiscent of those Polaroids used in abduction films. If your roommate sees a flash in the space below your door, it’s just obvious and maybe not that classy. Fluorescent light isn’t doing you any favors either, so your best bet is a soft, overhead, incandescent light-source. I mean, that’s Indoor Photography 101.
4. Be Careful
The most unfortunate mistake, and one I’ve seen take place, is adding your sext to your Snapchat ‘story.’ Now all your friends and family can see your sext, but worse than that, your loyal fans who pride themselves on exclusivity will feel cheated.
5. Mix It Up
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, so drag out the suspense, send them one of your face to remind them who you are. Blow their minds; take a picture with Photo Booth that includes both of your hands, print it out and take a Snap-sext of that image so they’ll wonder, “How the hell did they do that? Who took that picture?!” By the time your fans see it, it’ll be too late for them to figure it out.