Are you respected and loved by others? Do you have too many friends? Being “All That You Can Be” isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. It’s a dog-eat-dog world and this guide can teach you how to take advantage of your friends and family — by focusing on yourself. Here are 25 signs you have become the person everyone loves to hate.
1. You constantly criticize other people’s lives and/or the choices they make.
2. When at any group event, you are the one that talks the most. (Bonus points if you talk the loudest, too.)
3. You have absolutely no “friends” except those who have to put up with you, like your spouse or your siblings.
4. You do not honor promised commitments.
5. You are magically “unavailable” every. single. time someone needs help.
6. You focus on your phone whenever someone is talking to you.
7. You don’t clean up after yourself and watch others do it for you.
8. You talk about someone behind their back. Frequently. Whenever you get a chance, really. (And you don’t really care if they know that you do it.)
9. You don’t allow anyone else to be “right” when discussing a topic.
10. You have zero tolerance for empathy or sympathy.
11. You maintain a distorted self-perception — that you are hot, witty, and everything the people to whom you’re attracted desire in return.
12. You use non-politically correct slang terms when describing other cultures, nationalities, or groups — and ignore other people when they try to let you know why that’s a little insensitive or wrong.
13. You wholeheartedly believe that over-generalization is your friend.
14. You help yourself to more than your share of an item and do not contribute to the expense.
15. You are always the loudest at talking, laughing, and producing body noises.
16. Profanity is an adverb/pronoun and you like to use it used whenever possible.
17. You feel it well within your rights to email/text inappropriate jokes or images to co-workers on company email.
18. You immediately assume the position of “expert” on any topic and always seem to have a “buddy” who was personally involved in discussed topic.
19. You quote movies as scholarly references when arguing a point.
20. You always assume successful individuals are dishonest and corrupt.
21. You believe that using the middle finger gesture is always a solid comeback to any situation.
22. You think it is socially acceptable to adjust body parts in public.
23. Your motto: there is always “me” in team.
24. Your cologne application always follows the adage: “The more, the merrier.”
25. You are NEVER wrong — someone else messed up what would have otherwise been a flawless job in any aspect of your life.