I wanted to do the #100happydays challenge but I was scared I wouldnāt be able to do it so I put it off. Yes, I know, Iām an inspiration. Please email me for a signed copy of my book (seriously though).
āItāll be really difficult.ā
āI donāt really want to do it.ā
āWhat if I canāt think of 100 things?ā
Probably. Then donāt. Then youāll fail.
The answers to my helpful thoughts. Sometimes I donāt mind thinking these thoughts because I know it could lead to something unexpected. I like a bit of unexpected.
āItāll be a fun challenge.ā
āI really want to do it.ā
āI’m doing it.ā
Those thoughts crept up on me as I was closer and closer to making the decision. They saved me from regret. From the me that was wearing the mask.
ā71% of people tried to complete this challenge, but failed quoting lack of time as the main reason.Ā These people simply did not have time to be happy. Do you?ā
Thatās on the website. I donāt know if itās real or not but I hope it is because that means I’m not in the 71%. I never want to be in the 71%. Especially when it comes to choosing to not be happy.
I WAS in the 71% though. Iād read that before and not done anything about it and every time I thought about it I felt bad. Like I was letting myself down.
I hate that.
āChange happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.ā
Tony Robbins said that and heās smarter than me so heās probably right. It was true here. I kept putting it off and I didnāt like myself for doing that so I knew it was important.
I still didnāt know if I could do it and I was nervous to start⦠but I started. I hope Iāve learnt that lesson.
Hereās what I learned from completing the #100happydays challenge:
1. Happiness is everywhere
My friend visiting from China. French toast with bacon and maple syrup. Juggling balls.
Netflix. An article getting published. Stuff my parents bought me for my new house.
Some ācoolā socks. A sign that said āSIGN NOT IN USEā. A twitter account called āSelfie Failzā that followed (for reasons which remain unclear).
I didnāt get married or have a child or fall in love but thatās the simplicity of happiness.
Itās not elusive.
Itās waiting for you.
2. Gratefulness = Happiness
Iād never practiced being grateful before because it had just never occurred to me.
Or maybe it was because I didnāt want to be grateful because I didnāt want to feel satisfied because I didnāt want to stop pushing.
The opposite happened. The challenge forced me to be grateful, which forced me to be in the present, which let me smile at the day Iād had.
But the fire still burned. I still wanted more.
I was grateful for that.
3. Be bothered to look for it
Before I did this challenge I think I wanted my happiness to be serendipitous.
I thought if I looked for it consciously, hungrily, desperately⦠it would mean less.
Thatās bullshit. For me, anyway.
A laugh is a laugh. A smile is a smile. Peace is peace.
It didnāt feel less so it didnāt mean less.
It just felt like happiness.
4. Happiness is in the little things
A rainbow. Watching Family Guy with my dad. A picture of me as a kid.
Happiness doesnāt exist. We create it. That might be the most important thing Iāve learnt.
5. I donāt care about anyone else
Most of my 100 moments were about me. I’m responsible for my happiness so I’m ok with that. But there was a gap.
I helped paint a friendās house. A told a guy who helped me he was āthe manā and he said āthatās one more person who thinks soā and started dancing. Helping someone to get a job and getting a thank you text.
Those things made me feel amazing. I’m got tears in my eyes. I left my job last week and I love the people so I’m still a little fragile. But I’m happy I’m confident enough to love people.
Maybe Iāll do another challenge and do something that makes someone else happy for 100 days. Holding the door open for someone, smiling at them, carrying their suitcase up the stairs.
That will make me happy. Maybe I do care.
6. Happiness isnāt easy
āWhat the fuck am I going to choose today?ā
That clouded my mind many times.
One time I forgot about it until about 11pm. I would’ve hated myself if I didnāt remember.
One time I forgot to take a picture and my friend commented saying āsurely this is cheating.ā
I donāt know.
But I donāt care. Itās my happiness and I make the rules and I play the game.
7. I cared less and less about being judged
On day 44 I posted a picture of a cool t-shirt my dad bought me and my friend, in our Whatsapp group, said āHe must be running out of things to be happy aboutā¦ā
That really annoyed me. What a prick. Fuck him.
But then I stopped.
He wasnāt doing the challenge. He wasnāt using creativity to find happiness. He was hating on my happiness.
I hope that made him happy.
Not really.
Also⦠I was running out of things to be happy about. But thatās why itās called a āchallenge.ā
It was when I started running out of things to be happy about that I had to be creative and start looking in places Iād never looked in before.
If I can find happiness in a t-shirt my dad bought me then I win.
I was happy. Judge that.
8. I make the rules
I chose two moments on day 7. I canāt believe it took me seven days to break the rules. Bryony, donāt.
I chose a moment on day 100 + 4.
I like rules. I like the rule that someone canāt murder me without life imprisonment. Thatās a good rule.
But rules about what to be happy about? About how I’m āallowedā to tackle a challenge? About what I can wear to work?
No. I wonāt accept those. When I break the ārulesā I feel rebellious, different, scared.
I feel Me.
You feel me?
I’m pretty sure the above two sentences arenāt grammatically correct.
Good.
9. I inspired
Two people at work started the challenge. My ex girlfriend started it. Many of the comments on the original article were about people wanting to start it.
That made me so happy. I love the feeling of being inspired and I have a want, a need, a compulsion to inspire others.
One of those people finished it and it was the person I would’ve bet money on to finish it. I donāt know about the others.
Lots of people asked me about it.
āWhat is it? How do you know youāll have 100 things to be happy about? Is it hard?ā
Itās a challenge. I donāt. Yes.
āI’m going to start on Monday,ā one of them said.
They didnāt.
People are who they are.
Unless. Until. What if?
10. Happiness is a habit
I added this point in about three weeks after day 100 because Iād almost totally forgotten Iād even done the challenge.
I wasnāt taking the time to be grateful. All the habits I had and this is the one I chose to destroy?
I was back in the 71%. The average. The people who didnāt have time to be happy.
āIf I donāt have time for happiness then what do I have time for?ā
I was making time for doing my job, speaking to girls, watching Netflix. I couldnāt make time for one moment of happiness?
I’m tired right now. Isnāt it great I have a bed I can sleep in?
I’m hungry. Isnāt it wonderful I can cook and eat healthy food?
I feel too warm. Isnāt it marvellous I can step outside and look into the sky and feel the chill on my face and smile?
I’m the one who chooses happiness into existence.
Maybe having a bed and being able to cook and stepping outside to feel the chill arenāt āenough.ā Theyāre so small.
If I waited until I fell in love or had kids or became a millionaire⦠well, Iād be waiting. And waiting. And then, finally, Iād be happy. But if things like that, big things, are the only things that make me happy⦠Iāll only be happy a few times in my life.
I wonāt live my life that way. I want to be happy every single day and this challenge showed me I could be.
You donāt have to wait. You can be happy now. In this moment.
I donāt want you to believe that. I want to you to do what you want. If you want.
Thatās also not advice. Well, it is. But not for you.
Itās for the 10 year old me.