My eyes were dancing with laughter. I was desperate to play it cool. But as he made his second joke I spluttered into my cocktail in delight. How was this guy so funny? His timing was impeccable. And his jokes were risky.
I loved him. I mean I loved his humor. I needed to keep calm. I barely knew him. But as the jokes kept coming, I found myself drawn to him.
The truth is, being funny is sexy. It shows intelligence, a person who is perfectly in tune with the moment, and a willingness to take risks. Humor is the sign of a charming and playful person.
It shows you are open
In my opinion, it is hands down the most attractive quality a man can ever have because it shows he is willing to take risks and be playful. One 2015 study by Michelle Tornquist and Dan Chiappe found that “Ratings of physical attractiveness were influenced by the humor conditions” and women who were looking for long term partners desired people who were “high in humor production and receptivity”.
Receptivity means a person is receptive not just to your ideas and conversation, but to life, adventures, and change. It’s a good indicator that they’ll be flexible and open in the future when challenges occur in your relationship.
No one likes an Awkward Alice who’s too closed off to learn, change or grow. Humor and playfulness can keep long term relationships fresh and fun. The more open two people are to each other, the better the relationship is going to be.
It’s a mark of intelligence
“One hypothesis maintains that humor functions primarily as an indicator of fitness because it relies on mechanisms underlying human intellectual and creative ability (Bressler, Martin, & Balshine, 2006; Hone, Hurwitz, & Lieberman, 2015; Miller, 2000).”
So, being funny shows you a person is both intelligent and creative. I can get on board with that. There’s nothing more attractive than social intelligence and a creative soul. Timing a joke perfectly, or quickly responding to a situation with a funny remark is impressive. It shows an ability to improvise and think fast.
And intelligence will always last longer than good looks. I was initially blown away by my partner’s looks, but it didn’t necessarily make me more attracted to him. If anything I felt cautious, being handsome wasn’t going to create long term attraction for me. I wanted to know whether he could make me laugh, make me think, and challenge me in our conversations together.
It’s a sign you’re compatible
Jeffrey Hall, Ph.D., associate professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas, says, “When two people are laughing at the same thing they are basically saying ‘I share your perspective, your values, and I certainly share what you think is amusing.’”
“Humorous banter that occurs in a flirtatious interaction is a sign of openness to the other person’s speech and that the person wants the conversation to continue.”
As I put my cocktail down to laugh properly, I felt truly excited for the first time in a while. This guy was talking about the idea of a box life. How we’re often taught to get an education, get a job, and die. He was basically reciting Irvine Welsh. And I loved it.
Welsh’s words echoed around in my mind, “Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers.”
Meanwhile, my date waved his arm around to gesture towards the five-star hotel bar we had met in, laughing at how wrapped up everyone was in their own worlds. He was risky, free, and confident, but the icing on the cake was his ability to laugh at himself.
Good looks can be deceiving and fleeting. Plus, without anything else, looks can diminish quicker than you would ever expect. Sure, my partner had amazing icy blue eyes and great facial hair.
But, who cared about that?
It was his quick wit, ability to make me laugh, and attention to detail that secured my heart. So, if you can make a woman laugh, a proper guttural belly laugh, that can only mean one thing — hello marriage.
A sense of humor not only shows intelligence, an open mind, and compatibility, it shows empathy, flexibility, and awareness of yourself which will always be attractive. And while good looks may diminish, that quick-witted ability to make a person laugh, never will.