1. Never aim too high
Aiming too high in life is dangerous, and will only lead to failure and defeat. Setting your goals too high is just a recipe for disaster, and failing to reach these high goals of yours will leave you feeling miserable and depressed. It is much better to settle for what you have and accept the mediocrity you know you can handle.
Remember: if you have no goals, you can never fail!
2. Obey the social rules
Always remember to follow the rules and norms of the society around you. Those rules are there for a reason, and they keep you safe from the dangers of having to decide your behavior for yourself. So always do what the social norms expect of you; behave in a calm, socially acceptable manner, never risk offending anyone else, and whatever you do, never talk to an attractive member of the opposite sex!
3. Never leave your comfort zone
Whatever you do, don’t leave your comfort zone. Ever. You have this comfort zone around you for a reason – it is there to keep you safe from the unknown dangers of the world! Why else would you have built such a bubble of protection around you?
Your body even tries to keep you safe by making you uncomfortable and anxious whenever you try to leave this comfort zone. Listen to your body – stay well within the limits of your comfort zone!
4. Never stand out
Ever since we’re young, we learn the dangers of being different. We know that no good can come from standing out – it will only make you the target of ridicule, social isolation and maybe even attacks. Better to be like everybody else and blend in as much as possible.
Remember: there is safety in numbers. Blend into the anonymity of the crowd, and you will never have to risk being singled out!
5. Avoid a healthy diet
Look, your body knows what is best for it, and it tries its best to guide you in your dietary decisions. All you have to do is listen to it. Why do you think you have such a craving for fat and sugary junk food all the time? It’s your body telling you what it needs!
Don’t go against your natural urges by feeding your body healthy, disgusting food that every cell in your body is telling you to avoid! Give your body the delicious snacks it needs!
6. Don’t stay in shape
Of course, it’s not a good idea to try to stay in good physical shape either. Your body just doesn’t want you to be fit – that’s why it feels so painful to exercise, and so great to just sit back and relax with some delicious sweets.
This is your body doing its best to keep you from exercising, because it knows what a negative effect it has on your health! Listen to your body – it knows what’s best for you!
7. Avoid change at all costs
Change is dangerous. You know this. I know this. Why else would we be so afraid of it? You never know what horrors might come with any change, even if it seems beneficial at first. It is much better to keep the situation as it is, even if it is not ideal. At least that way you know what you have, and you won’t risk ending up with something worse!
So there you go – 7 infallible rules to follow in order to maintain a safe, mediocre life!