Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, like a plague, and technically you are my boyfriend I guess… I mean… whatever.
Anyway, I know how much it means to you.
The whole thing gives me the creeps, but I’m really making an effort this year to be more “normal” and less antisocial like you asked.
I’m sorry that I called all your friends mouth-breathing philistines, and I’m sorry that I left to spend a month alone in Calcutta without telling you first.
I was touched by the memorial you wrote, when you thought I was dead… so I’d like to return the favor.
I made you some Valentine’s Day cards.
I got a brain tumor trying to think of the right words – but I wanted to express my feelings for you, because you’ve always been so nice and consistent.
Have a good one.