I cry for you some nights. I cry for our long embraces and our promises that were so quickly broken. I cry for the moments we shared under the full moon’s light, for the words that were said with so much hope and so much anticipation of what was to come. I cry for the love that you gave me, for the feeling of being alive within your arms. I cry for the way you looked at me – so lovingly, so warm.
I cry for the priceless memories that still haunt my dreams, for the nights all we did was to stare into each other’s eyes, peering into each other’s souls, wanting the moment to never end. I cry for the future we lost, for the life we had built in our stories and our hopes. I cry for how I ended us, for how I left you – alone, confused, heartbroken. I cry for your sadness that I still feel within me, for the nights I stay awake wondering where you are now and who we would be today.
I sometimes feel you, getting so caught up in my own memories that I catch myself sniffing the air to have some sort of flashback, to know that you are still very much alive within my heart. I long for one last touch, one last embrace, one last kiss, for one last memory of you that isn’t tarnished with hurt and dismay. But the time has come for me to move on, for me to live a life unburdened by my heavy heart.
It’s time for my dreams to be filled with hope for my future instead of memories from my past. It’s time that I finally, fully mend this wound that I have caused myself, that I have cause us. It is time that I finally accept that this is the end, that we cannot and will never be together. That the love that once caused me so much joy, also caused me so much pain, so much suffering.
It’s time for me to accept that you were my first real love, that you were the first person to make me feel truly wanted, wholly adored. It is time that I finally say goodbye to you. Goodbye to the memories of what was, goodbye to the love that once filled me, goodbye to the guilt I feel deep inside for hurting you and leaving you when you needed me most.
I will remember you fondly, with so much care and so much hope for your future. I will remember you for the lessons you taught me about selflessness and love, about what it is like to be treated with so much admiration and so much kindness.
Thank you for showing me what true love is, for accepting me with all my faults and all my problems. Thank you for all the countless hours of sleep lost and the dedication you had towards making sure I felt your love, even through the hard times.
I’m so sorry that this is how it had to be, that this is how our happily ever after ended. It was never my intention to end us the way I did, to hurt you in that cruel and unforeseen manner.
You deserve a world that I could never make for you, you deserve a love that I could have never had for you. You deserve to know that you have set the bar to a whole new level, and that no one will ever be able to take that from you, to take the beauty of our memories and the love we once shared. You deserve to know that you will always hold a piece of my heart, because you were and always will be my first real love.