Here’s Why You Should Just Go Ahead And Contact Your Ex

Silvia Sala
Silvia Sala

Oh, that dreaded feeling. The moment when you are tempted to send that text, message that person, like that status, somehow mindlessly communicate with someone who you swore you wouldn’t let into your life again. Whether you are drunk or sober or in a happy state of mind or dreadfully down in the dumps, it can hit you at any time. “Oh this article is perfect for Mr. Guy Who Wasn’t Ready for a Relationship” or “I drank too much and now I should eat pizza and send a random assortment of emojis to the Elusive Love of my Life” – it just happens sometimes and you end up driving yourself crazy with debating on whether or not you should do it.

So, should you do it? Yes, you should.

That might sound like peer pressure, but honestly, you should. Regardless of the response you are looking for, be it platonic friendship, rekindled relationship, or just being gratefully ignored for your embarrassment the next morning, you will never know what it is that you will receive unless you reach out in the first place. Why should you allow things to go left unsaid if it does not cause any harm? So what if you say hello or send a funny article that reminded you of them? What is the worst thing that could happen? My philosophy is to just go for it.There is nothing really stopping you because you really have nothing to lose.

You have nothing to lose because, quite honestly, you already lost them. So why not just go for it?

At this rate, things can only get better. You already have a relationship that has ended. You already are torn a part, so why hold back on what you want to say? Sure, the relationship may get even more distant, but who cares? They weren’t really in your life at this current state anyway. In all reality, things will probably just stay the same, or perhaps you will begin to develop a friendship after all of the pain of losing someone you cared about has subsided.

You might play a game with yourself of “Should I, shouldn’t I?” Consider how you would feel if something were to happen to you tomorrow and you didn’t get a chance to say what you wanted to say, or to contact them that one last time. So right now you might be thinking that that random emoji text at 3:00 am could probably hold off, but if you have something to say – say it. Because you never know what the next day will bring you. And quite honestly, you could be surprised at the reply that you receive.

Living in my own personal world of being up front and honest has been a mix of positive experiences and heartbreak. Sometimes my lack of fear for confrontation has caused disappointment or hurt feelings. But isn’t it better to just know? Isn’t better to just get it out there and say what you mean and what you want from that other person? I look back on a time where I had expressed feelings for an ex. I flat out told them that I still had feelings for them even after not speaking for a long time. It turns out they didn’t have mutual, rekindled feelings. And you know what? I don’t regret it. I don’t regret contacting them and telling them what I wanted to say because now I know my answer. Instead of continually wondering and asking “What if?”, I know that the relationship between us will continue to move towards a friendship instead. It allowed me to move on faster and I don’t think I could’ve asked for a better situation, despite being rejected.

But yes, it still stung, but I still don’t regret it. And even if I did regret it, it was something that I learned from. It was a learning experience that I could take away and think about. You can reassess what you would ever say to them again, if you were to ever say something again. You can think about how and why you communicate with this person from here on out.

So when you are wondering if it is okay to say something in support of their new endeavor, or perhaps calling them out on crappy behavior, or expressing that things are simply not over for you – just do it. Your simple hello can be a catalyst for the rest of your relationship. TC mark

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