10 Men Reveal Exactly What You Learn When You Fall In Love For Real

couple standing nearby each other
Matheus Ferrero

In the world of modern dating where it’s hard to distinguish if a guy is in for the long haul or is just passing by, it’s comforting to know that as rare as they could be, there are still those who gave in to falling deeply in love.

Being the hopeless romantic that I am, while listening to NSYNC’s “This I Promise You”, I asked a handful of men (colleagues and friends), to answer a question for me: “How did you know that you found your perfect girl and when did you realize that she is the one?”

As I read through their responses, they made me realize that the right person will always be worth the wait. It’s a shame for me as a writer that I couldn’t even put into words what my actual thoughts are… so here I am, giving you the liberty to be the judge and read through their lovely confessions.

Warning: From here onwards, everything gets sappy and cheesy… brace yourselves.

1. You make a perfect relationship for the both of you.

“I never really found the perfect girl for me. To be honest, I’m not really sure if that even exists. There are things that you really wouldn’t like in a person no matter how much you love her, but it’s your responsibility to look beyond those flaws if you want to make it work. It’s the fact that we help each other to be our own definition of perfect that makes the whole relationship ideal for me. You don’t really find perfection in someone… you make a perfect relationship for the both of you.”

 Justin, 26

2. You see a future with her.

“When to know that she’s the one? Well in any relationship, be it long or short, you would know that there is something worth investing for in this, something worth continuing. You see a future with her. You would love every single thing she does, day by day, beginning to realize the need for each other, and at any arguments, you do not rip each other at the seams. I guess for me, I would definitely know that she’s the one, when I can totally be myself around her.”

— Gabriel, 24

3. She’s with me no matter what.

“She made me believe and feel that the thing called ‘one great love’ exists, which I thought wasn’t possible. With no hesitations, she gave me peace and security that she’s with me no matter what. That we could live in a kubo (nipa hut), eat itlog (egg) and sinangag (fried rice)… and live a simple life together with love, joy, respect and contentment.”

— Julian, 26

4. Slow motion and clarity at the same time.

“Call it cheesy or what not, but when I met her, it felt like how they claim it in the movies. Slow motion and clarity at the same time… then everything else aligns as how they should be. It’s as if the initiative to better myself is not because I want to impress her, but because I want to spend the rest of my life beside her with the best possible version of me.”

— Jj, 28

5. I knew it from the moment I saw her.

“I was mesmerized by her glances and her candid giggles. I knew it from the moment I saw her.  And when I finally learned how to spend my time with her than playing online games, which I thought would be impossible, I know she’s my perfect girl. People often say that if you love someone, just love them. Don’t change them. But for me, if you really love someone, you should learn how to change your priority and lifestyle to make the relationship fruitful and harmonious. You will know that you have found the perfect girl for you when you start to have plans for your future together, when you learned how to sacrifice the things that you love to do the most and learning how to adopt and adjust not just to her, but to everyone else around her.” 

— Dwight, 22

6. You get that uneasy feeling in your gut.

“When she makes you feel so miserable that you like it. The simplest things she does, even though some of them are annoying, they just make you feel important in some way. It really is complicated to describe. You get that uneasy feeling in your gut. You desperately long for her touch even though she was just with you a few minutes ago. But I think the bottom line is I’m always filled with thoughts, just pure happiness more than the bad ones, and all I can think about is her. No matter how messed up things get, you’re still filled with loving memories of her that will motivate you to push forward and change for the better. Everything just for the woman you love, and nothing will stop your drive to do so.”

— Mon, 24

7. I knew I found my one true love.

“I wrote my dream more than a decade ago. One of my dreams is to have a happy marriage. I found my perfect girl, and realized that she is the one. The moment I saw her, I knew I found my one true love and I decided that I want to have a happy marriage with no one else but her.”

— Marvin, 35

8. I felt that my heart was beating twice as much.

“When I first saw her my whole world stopped and my eyes were sparkling. I felt that my heart was beating twice as much. Then she smiled, and right there and then, I knew I’m hooked and there’s no turning back. I froze and can’t even hide the biggest smile I had, like a kid smiling from ear to ear for receiving the best gift. From that day I knew she is the one. I have changed without noticing, stripping myself off of all the habits I had when I was still single. Suddenly, everything is about her. She is the love of my life.”

— Nico, 29

9. She never fails to make me smile.

“When I see her, I can’t think of anything else apart from the fact that I love her. Everything else seems to be in slow motion as she approaches. At times when I don’t even know how to handle myself and stress piles up, she’s always there to keep me sane, to make it better. She never fails to make me smile, even if her jokes lack depth and does not even make sense most of the time, it’s the effort to make me laugh that gets me. I don’t just have a girlfriend, I have a best friend… and I have the most beautiful person in my life.”

— Kevin 24

10. She’s not just your partner, she’s a part of you.

“I don’t think there is a specific kind of perfect. The word itself is overly used, that the meaning varies for one person to another. In my opinion, it all boils down to who stayed on your worst days, and who loved you unconditionally. She’s someone who appreciates the littlest of things and who makes you better. That girl who turns you into someone that your parents will be proud of. She’ll support you in almost everything, as long as it makes you happy. She knows her priorities and she shares her life with you. She’s not just your partner, she’s a part of you.”

 Jonel, 24

I don’t know about you, but isn’t it nice to really fall in love? I’d say it’s probably one of the best experiences one could have. Don’t let yourself miss out on it just because you went through a couple of bumps along the way. Fall in love slowly. Do not rush and don’t just settle. Fall in love the right way. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Always a work in progress and in a relationship with words.

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