Thought Catalog

Dear Other Woman, You Deserve Better

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Ilya Yakover

You’re in love. What could be wrong about that? You’re happy. How could you not be?

How long has it been? A couple of months? A year or two? Does it feel like how they claim it to be? Unethically compelling… yet, oddly satisfying.

For so long, you have been hearing everyone say this to you, “You can’t choose the hearts you’ll love.” And only then you realized how true these words were. Only then when your heart started beating for him that it dawned on you. You caved in because despite the hundreds of reasons not to be with him, you found one that both your heart and mind could comprehend. He makes you happy.

That’s what we all want… to be happy, right? What makes your happiness different from theirs? Why do you have to take all the blame?

No amount of intellect will prepare you for this situation. You just fell in love… you just fell in love with someone who is already committed to somebody else.

The disdainful looks people throw at you, their words that lacerates your whole being. You are willing to live with these. As long as he tells you he loves you, as long as he wants you to be there, as long as he needs you in his life. How do you even turn your back on someone who means the world to you? No matter how much you try, a string will always pull you back to him.

You’re a homewrecker, you’re a boyfriend-stealer, you’re a woman often described in way too many colorful words to fit in a sentence. And this is all because you’re in a relationship with someone who’s in a relationship with another woman. You’re the antagonist in the story. You are painted as the villain. You’re a heartless lioness who doesn’t care about other people’s feelings.

It’s easy for them to judge because they were never in your shoes. They don’t know how it feels to have to wait for someone to give you a fraction of their time. To settle for being second at everything.

And despite their claims of being self-righteous in a world where righteousness is a concept corrupted by this society’s way of thinking, the truth is, you still have a good heart, a good soul, and no one should ever question the kind of woman that you are.

But I want you to listen to the world. I want you to open your eyes. Wake up and get out of that dream.

Wake up, darling. YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER THAN JUST TO BE THE OTHER GIRL.

You are worth more than just evenings to spend with him, only scheduled when his woman is busy, at some place an hour or two away from your city. You are worth more than cancelled dinner dates just because he might get caught by a family friend or a co-worker. You are worth more than late night phone calls and text messages that need to be archived or completely deleted afterwards. You are worth more than someone’s whispered “I love you” and “I miss you” instead of those phrases being spoken.

You are worth more than a man who will never be proud of you.

Why are you doing this to yourself?

You can still reach the shore no matter how deep the ocean is. Save yourself from drowning. You can still change your life.

Open that pretty eyes of yours. You look at reality straight in its face and witness that you are not his world.

Yes, he may truly love you, but it’s not enough to choose you. Not enough love to make you THE WOMAN and not THE OTHER GIRL.

I know it’s hard, but you’re a strong girl. You’ve gone through so much for him. You’ve sacrificed a lot of things for him. It’s about time you value yourself. I know you’re capable of finding a guy that can give you the love you really deserve.

Dear Other Woman, you are a lovely woman. Please don’t stay trapped in a love that could not help you wonderfully blossom in the years to come. TC mark

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