Every time you told him how you felt, how you longed for something more – his reply would always be “I just can’t give that to you now.” So why are you choosing to stick around and hope that something changes in him?
For the past year (or however much time) he has made your life a living rollercoaster. The ups and the downs kept coming in waves. The nights you’d spend crying, trying to figure out what the hell was even going on.
Your friends and family told you it was time to get off this ride. But you were hooked. You couldn’t explain it to anyone, even yourself.
After not speaking for weeks, one of you would break the silence and it would be back to normal. It was as if you never had that argument. Or everything you had said was just brushed aside.
So you would tell yourself that you’re moving on. Onwards and upwards!
‘There are plenty of fish in the sea’ you would say repeatedly to your friends. But little did they know, you were actually secretly hoping he’d come to his senses.
That’s why you would let him back in after weeks without talking. He’d come back. Usually in the form of a text message – an inside joke or expressing his desire to go get tacos with you because that was your thing. Whatever the message was, you’d light up like a Christmas tree because he was back in your life. He missed you.
But did he really? Or was he also used to this vicious cycle as well? Maybe he liked the attention he got from you. Or maybe he knew he could get away with this behavior because you had let him back every single time.
Over the course of this rollercoaster year, did you ever think to yourself that you’re worth this bullshit he’s putting you through? Hell no. It should have made you run the other way when this first happened.
That bozo made you feel worthless when he really should have been kissing the ground you walk on, because you are so incredibly worth it. He couldn’t see the kind of woman that you truly are. He purposely chose not to see the beauty and strength you possess.
He should have been trying to fill your calendar with taco dates, brunch dates, movie nights, weekend getaways, and even surprise trips around the world because you deserve someone who wants to make plans with you and someone who keeps those plans.
You deserve to be showered with love. You deserve to be with someone who looks forward to spending time with you. You deserve to be the kind of girl a guy is proud to have on his arm as you walk down the city street on the Saturday night.
You deserve to feel wanted by someone who wants to care for you.
I just wish that you could understand how much more you deserve.
He’s opened the door himself and told you it was time to go. I don’t understand why you’re still looking back, hoping for a change. One day he’ll realize what he missed out on, but for now, you don’t have time to worry about that. All you have to do now is focus on what right in front of you – that open door leading you in to a world full of so much more that you deserve.
Be open to it. Because darling, you deserve the world, and so much more.