When you wake up in the morning feeling like you’re at your most grateful, you open your eyes and the world seems a bit brighter than before, the colors are more vibrant and the air smells like happiness. And this happens every single morning, you wake up and everything you see is beautiful, so magical, everything seems like it’s at the right place and you know that outside, wonderful things await you. I’ve forgotten that feeling.
When you read that text message from that special someone and you feel like life is finally okay, like all the pieces you’ve been trying to put together just magically appeared out of nowhere and the puzzle completed itself, just like that. You didn’t have to look under the fridge and you did not have to search far and wide. And you close your eyes and wonder what you did to deserve this, what you said to finally feel this kind of emotion. I’ve forgotten that feeling.
You’re doing what you’re doing because you’re happy with it, you believe that everything happens for a reason, and that life has been giving you all these heartaches because the Universe knows how strong of a person you are, and that it knows you can do it, no matter what happens. You close your eyes and thank the Universe for believing in you, and you get that certain pride in yourself that you’ve been so brave all this time. God, I’ve forgotten that feeling.
You go out with the people you love, you meet new friends, you smile and laugh because you know you deserve it. Your heart feels warm and fuzzy, and you know, this time, that it’s a good thing, the warmth and the fuzziness and the love that is kind of overwhelming but still feels amazing. Really, I’ve forgotten that feeling.
I’ve forgotten how beautiful mornings smell like, how to take a few steps back and breathe. I’ve forgotten how to take a break from all the heartaches that the Universe keeps throwing at me. I’ve forgotten how amazing it feels like to love and be loved, how life is so magical and full of wonders.
But then, that’s how you know you’re learning. That’s how you know you’re a strong person. When you’ve forgotten all those wonderful feelings in the world, when everything seems to be falling apart, and you’re still trying to figure your shit out. When you’ve forgotten how to laugh and how to be happy, and you’re still trying so freakin’ hard to make all the memories count, so you’d have something to hold on to when days are hard and when you feel like the Universe is not on your side.
Life is funny that way. There will always be that time when you’d wonder why you’ve been going in circles all this time, when all you’ve ever wanted to do was walk a straight path, an easy one, a visible line you can follow and walk on so you don’t bump into things or break a limb, and you can leave things behind when it gets a bit too heavy or difficult. You’ve felt so many feelings, so many emotions in your life, that sometimes, you wonder how you got here, or why, or until when.
We’d carry everything with us, and it gets exhausting, until we cannot walk another step or cry another tear. But things always do happen for a reason.
You can choose to forget or choose to remember. You can choose the easy path, or learn things the hard way. You can ignore parts of your life that hurt you, or you can choose to learn from them.
The thing is… The mind can forget, but the heart never will.