1. We have no idea what a penis feels like inside of us.
Really though, I don’t want to imagine (lol), but I get confused when friends start talking about how good it feels in there and how it’s so…OK, I’ll stop now.
2. We’re completely clueless about most sexual practices.
A gorgeous gay friend back in high school told me once that he wanted to be in an “orgy.” Clearly he was joking, but I said “Ohhhh, me too, what orgy do you want to join, is there a writing orgy?” No, woman, orgy does not mean organization.
3. People think we’re prudes.
OK, so this is pretty much common. People will usually say a lot of things behind our backs and be like “Oh, that bitch is such a prude.” Well, guess what? WE DON’T GIVE A FUCK—like, literally. I guess most of us just really, really, believe in marriage. Or something. At least we still have something to hold onto, you know.
4. We worry. A lot.
What if one day we finally have sex with the person we marry and it’s bad sex? I mean, if it’s not perfect sex, then it could be somewhere between bad sex and borderline worst sex ever. So, yeah. We worry about those things, too. Imagine a girl living her life for more than two decades and having sex for the first time in her life with the one who she believes deserves the cherry. And it’s bad sex. Really, though, that’s scary.
5. What if we die tomorrow?
This is a scary thought, but dying a virgin is pretty freakin’ frightening, man.
6. We think too much.
There will always be thoughts about sex at the back of our minds: good thoughts, bad thoughts, paranoia, pretty much just about everything, and more than the fact that we chose this life, the future scares us more than anything. The thought of a penis drilling us down there makes us cringe. But everything’s going to be OK. Eventually. Hopefully. Fingers crossed.