To The Guy Who Made Me Hope For More

Ben Warren
Ben Warren

Why did you let me fall into your trap and not show up to catch me? Why did you just leave me without saying anything? Why did you leave me hanging? Am I not enough? Was that your trick?

I already knew how fragile my heart was before I let you in. But still, you entered and didn’t do anything to take good care of it. You took advantage of my feelings. You took advantage of our friendship.

Remember how happy we were every time you called me and we exchanged messages until 2am? And all the fights we had because you were acting like a jerk boyfriend and I was acting like a jealous girlfriend. I miss how we got back into each other’s arms after those fights.

But then one night, I received no messages from you. No calls. You just were gone into thin air.

I miss you. I miss the conversations. I miss how you begged me to stay with you in the middle of the night. I miss how you pampered me with your sweetness. I miss how you told me you missed me. I miss us. Even though there was no ‘us’.

After a long of silence between us, there you were telling that I was ‘pretty’ on my profile picture. I even thanked you for that compliment. That message from you made me hope for more again.

I got the courage to ask you, “What happened to us?” You answered, “There’s no ‘us’. We’re just friends.” I forgot, there was no ‘us’. You never dropped the words “I love you.” I just assumed it was true.

My body turned numb while reading your response. Tears kept falling from my eyes. Reality slapped me hard. You’re not my boyfriend; I’m not your girlfriend. It really hurt like hell.

You were the only person who put butterflies on my stomach. Thanks to you, I felt like I was in a cloud nine too. But before the butterflies and cloud nine, you knew that I tried my best to avoid you. But, I saw something in you, something better.

You had your chance to get rid of me, but you chose to hold my hand over and over again. Because of that I fell. You let me fall.

I have to admit that I was naive for putting myself in this situation. If it is the price that I have to pay, then I have to deal with the pain. I am not putting you responsible for this pain. After all, pain demands to be felt.

Since, you didn’t give me the closure I want, and the closure that I deserve, I knew it was time for me to let go of these feelings for you. I decided to delete our conversations and remove you from my contacts. I decided not to respond to your messages and stop checking your ‘last seen’. I blocked you in any social media account that I have.

Those were not signs of weakness or defeat. I am just wiser enough to read between the lines.

I’m letting go of this feeling because it’s time for me to love myself even more. All the love I have for you, I want to take it back so that I can give it back to me. I deserve it more.

Thank you for your time. Thank you for making me realize that I have to love myself first, before giving it to someone else. I realize that there is more to life than our love story. Thank you for leaving me hanging. Because of that, it made me realize that I am a strong woman. Thank you for the friendship. The kind of friendship that made me hope for more.

I hope and I pray that God will bless you with a good life. I pray that you will reach your dreams and goals in life. Don’t worry about me. I can move on without any closure. I’m gonna live my life to the fullest. I will be happy in God’s presence. Because with Him, I can move on.

I have no regrets meeting you. I have no regrets that I let you touch my deepest core. If one day our path will cross again, I will look at you like I’m the best one you never had. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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