“Your standards are too high. You’re not gonna get a boyfriend with all those qualifications.”
“A heartbreak is a lesson. Take risks while you’re young.”
More often than not, these words are thrown at me, telling me that being young means getting into relationships, or else I’m wasting my youth; that it’s okay to get broken as long as I had my fair share of experience from getting hurt; that being young means, “get a boyfriend or you’ll miss out.”
Our generation has become so obsessed with things being quick and easy that it diminishes what love really should be. Call me old school, but I don’t want short term, I don’t want temporary.
I don’t want to indulge in mind games and shallow talks. I don’t want to feel ecstatic one morning then feel broken the next day. I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone just because it’s convenient.
I’d rather be alone for a long time than sacrifice my self-worth, and be with someone who doesn’t share the same core values as I do. Because I’m doing fine on my own without a man.
I don’t mind eating out alone at a table for two; I don’t mind not receiving cute messages in the morning; and I don’t mind not getting chocolates on Valentine’s Day.
Love is more than anything material, love sees beyond what the other person can offer. Love is not fancy dates, and cute travel photos on Instagram. Love is not based on a diamond ring. It’s worth far more than that.
For a long time, I’ve been told that my standards are too high, that I’m never gonna find someone if I keep my walls too guarded.
“Don’t you wanna fall in love?”
I’ve heard this so many times that I’ve lost count. Of course I do. Love is a beautiful thing, but if love meant losing myself in the process just to keep someone, then I’ll pass. I won’t put my heart on the line and waste time on uncertainty. I won’t give myself to a person that will later tell me he doesn’t want anything serious.
Because nothing is lonelier than being trapped in a relationship with someone who doesn’t treat you the way you deserve.
I’ve heard too many stories of girls getting cheated on, abused, and taken for granted already, and I won’t add one to the list. I don’t want to enter a relationship I’m not sure of just because I’m missing out; or just because I feel lonely at the moment.
I want to be in love with someone I can call mine for a lifetime. I want a love that will keep me, a love that will stay when I’m being hard to handle; a love that will hold me when I feel weak and unable to move forward; a love that will support my dreams, and a love that won’t change overnight. I want a love that will point me back to Jesus when I lose track.
So sweet girl, if you feel like you need a man to validate you, then I’m here to tell you that you don’t. You don’t need a man to love you to know your value. You are precious in the sight of Jesus, and that’s all that you need to know.
You are beautiful on your own, so never let society deceive you and tell you otherwise.
It’s okay to have standards. It’s okay to raise the bar. It’s okay to be different from the crowd and choose not to settle for anything less than God’s best for you.
You are not stuck up. You are not too “picky” nor even “too high maintenance.”
You deserve a man who’s gonna rise and match up to your standards. Wait for that.