11 Possible Reasons Why He Hasn’t Texted You Back

1. He met someone else.

2. He really was at work for 12 hours.

3. He got scared you were getting too attached when he noticed you deactivated your OKCupid account.

4. He got hit by a bus.

5. He found your Twitter and realized you’re crazy.

6. He found your Tumblr and realized you’re really crazy.

7. He fell into a ditch.

8. His phone fell onto the subway tracks and he actually pays attention to all those signs on the train with that (possibly made up) statistic about how many people died in the last year trying to grab their fallen iPhones.

9. His phone fell onto the subway tracks and he didn’t pay attention to all those signs on the train with that (possibly made up) statistic about how many people died in the last year trying to grab their fallen iPhones and was subsequently hit by an oncoming L train.

10. He witnessed a terrible crime and is now part of the witness relocation program, living in Chile under an alias.

11. Or, you know, he just wasn’t that into you.