What I put you through, you didn’t deserve. Not remotely. But what you put me through for six months constitutes nothing short of mental abuse. You destroyed me, broke me down, and then left me to pick up the broken pieces by myself when you finally had enough. You used me, then weaned yourself off of me while I confused it for a sign of hope.
I stayed attached while you gradually detached until you just walked away. Just like that.
Then you did what you always do — you moved on with someone else. You took the easy route. I’m not mad at you. After all, it’s who you are. Who you were before we met, I mean — it’s how we met. You can’t be alone. And I’ve known that for a while now.
I learned to not take it personally. I wasn’t the first. But getting so easily replaced is never easy.
I never knew that you could love someone one day and a week later be with someone else.
But then again, it was never love, remember? Because that’s not what love does. Love doesn’t move on as effortlessly as you do.
Despite all of that, I still wish you well. I don’t hold a grudge or feel bitter. I never understood that, you know — hating someone you claim you once loved for being happy with someone else.
That’s not me. I wish you nothing but pure bliss. You deserve it. I hope he’s everything you wanted me to be. You tried to mold me into this person that you thought would bring you everlasting happiness, and when I didn’t pan out, you found someone else to take my place.
I hope he’s the one for you. I hope he’s the peace you’ve so desperately been searching for.
I hope he can love you in all the ways I couldn’t.
I wasn’t what you expected. I’m sorry I let you down. I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough at the time. I share your disappointment though, because you weren’t what I expected either.
I suppose God did both of us a favor by ending this. Whatever this was.
We tried and failed. There’s nothing wrong with that. It happens.
Mature love is knowing when to let go, when enough is enough. Mature love is realizing that sometimes good things fall apart. It’s wishing someone the best and realizing that that ‘best’ isn’t you.
Mature love is accepting the fact that you may cause more harm by staying. It’s accepting that two people aren’t always meant to be, that you can’t force something that is not meant to be.
My love for you is just mature. I’ve accepted that this is how it’s supposed to be.
I pray you forgive me for all the mistakes I’ve made. And I pray that you never do to another human being what you’ve done to me.
I survived, but others may not.
I’ve learned from my mistakes; I hope you’ll learn from yours.
I hope you find your way. I hope you do everything you said you wanted.
I hope you get that ring you always wanted. You know, the one with the rose gold band and 9 mm round moissanite stone. What was your ring size again? Ah, that’s right, a 4. Yeah, I remember. I mean, after all, I was supposed to fly to Dallas for the consultation with the jeweler.
I think I told him June, but I’m not sure.
I hope you get married and have the kids you’ve always wanted. I hope you take that spectacular honeymoon to Bora Bora that you dreamed of. I hope you get that big house in Texas that you wished for.
I hope your dreams come true. I hope you find everlasting joy and eternal happiness.
I am happy that you are in a better place now.
And as much as we both hurt one another, we’ve also helped each other immensely.
There was a reason we met, and there was a reason we parted.
I am happy that you’re happy. I’m happy that you’ve moved on. I’m happy that you finally found the stability that you’ve longed for so long.
I’m not writing this for you. I know you don’t care. You stopped caring a long time ago. Chances are, you will never read these words. And that’s okay. I am counting on it. This is for me.
And as grateful as I am for you, as happy as I am for you, I pray that our paths will never cross again.