I Hate To Break It To You, But It’s Your Own Fault You’re Angry All The Time

Girl who is angry
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There are so many things we react to, and each and every one can be learned from. Of course if we attempt to learn from every reaction we have we won’t have time for anything else so lets start with the big ones.

When I get angry it is a clear sign that I am not in balance and some work needs to be done. I often hear people tell me “this” or “that” thing or person “makes me angry,” and I see how that can feel and seem, especially in today’s world.

What I want to cover is that it isn’t the person, their actions, or the thing that is actually making you angry, it is you, and your imbalances. I am sorry to break it to you.

When an experience comes my way in which I react with anger I first have to separate anger from what it is I might be blaming the anger on.

It is not the guy who cut me off, it is not my boss telling me to rework some nonsense, or the kids who picked my pocket — but it is only anger, and when I can see the emotion for what it is, not judge those that brought it about in me, I can examine it.

In examining the emotions, and the circumstances that brought it about, I am in a better position to learn and move on.

Anger comes about for a lot of reasons, it is often an emotion that we use to cover up other emotions, it’s retaliatory. I hear people say “I have the right to be angry” and although they are right, anger is probably not what they are feeling.

I say this because, just by saying “I have the right to…” they are justifying. That statement also presupposes that there is another observer that could be the self, the one that wants to do the work of healing.

Here, the speaker is just looking for permission to be angry because if they were not angry they might have to admit they are not balanced. For myself this is 100% the case, and I actively work at understanding myself enough to accept that anger is needing more balance.

Once, in my early 20s, I got so angry and slammed a heavy wooden door, it crushed and mostly severed the tip of one of my fingers. After they put my fingertip back together, for months, I couldn’t help but look at how one split second change my life forever, because my finger would never be the same again, and it was all because I was angry.

I don’t remember what set me off but as soon as my finger was just hanging there, whatever it was that made me angry just didn’t matter anymore.

We permit ourselves to be angry for all sorts of reasons. I usually see people being angry to cover up a sense of weakness.

This is associated with shame, fear, and inadequacy that can really go into that shame category, and probably a whole host of other deep-seated issues that these emotions direct us to address. Unfortunately we don’t have the kind of culture that values this sort of work.

In the US we value wealth, greed, and strength. All of which are also used to cover up the chasms that exist within us. Greed is fear, plain and simple.

Wealth, although often disguised as a way to help others, is used to eliminate the need for faith in others and close relationships.

Strength and perseverance are rewarded over weakness, but without weakness we cannot learn the true meaning of strength. We not only have lost our way as a country, or world, being lost has become the ideal lifestyle somehow, it is praised, it is valued over all else.

Because the value system is so off kilter we can’t be expected to learn how to be what we are meant to be. Only a small number of people will be truly geared to excel in the world as it has been built by a small number of Europeans.

That is not to say we don’t all have a purpose or a way to excel in the world as it is, it just might be a bit more uncomfortable for others than the few that can just pick it up and run with it, a case for not comparing ourselves to others, but we still do. When we compare we compete, it is part of that world created by that small number of Europeans.

Competing is about seeing where you fit in some linear scale. It reinforces the idea that some belong and some don’t.

When we do not measure up we feel shame, to counteract that we find those that measure up even less. This is not hate, it’s fear. This is not people acting as they are truly but acting as they have been taught, they have learned they will be rewarded for being stronger. They are innocent, and have never learned to reflect.

When we reflect it is our time to take the steps to be more in accord to our true nature, there is nothing to read because no one has your answer other than you.

The faith you show in yourself is due to your knowing that however you react to what the universe is showing you is a message from that unique inner voice that is in concert with all the billions of other unique voices, none of any importance but the world would not be that same without. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

I am a healer and helping others is an integral part of my life practice.

Keep up with Martin Jon on miedonomas.com

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