Bridget Jones, patron saint of singletons, is my spirit animal. I’m solidly in my 30s, am not a size-2 model, can be awkward, and sometimes aspire to be more posh than I am. Since life isn’t a book or movie, however, I don’t have Hugh Grant and Colin Firth fighting for my attention and affection (though I wouldn’t complain if that did happen).
Singledom isn’t the black mark it once was for women over 30 years old even just a decade ago. The marrieds I know generally aren’t smug about their couple status or worried about my lack of a dinner date, though they do find my occasional date stories hilarious. Being single isn’t always a sad-sack predicament; I have learned to like going to movies alone and take solo vacations. Trips are so much more enjoyable when you aren’t arguing with someone about sleeping in vs. bolting out to see the sights at 9 AM.
Being single sometimes is lonely, but please don’t conflate loneliness with low self-esteem. Maybe we singletons are single by choice – whether that means forever, or until we meet our personal Mr. Darcy who gives us the proper respect and affection that will make us want to give up nights alone in and compromise on how much closet space is “enough”.
That’s why I am founding the Singletons and Spinsters Club – no misogynists, perverts, commitment phobes or emotional fuckwits need apply. Singles by choice or by force are welcome, along with their neuroses, unappreciated wit, and general awesomeness. Singles who are proud of their status and those who are dreaming of the day when they will be in a relationship. We won’t need a secret handshake; you will know us because we will sit confidently at our tables for one.
Admittedly, I’m not aiming for a lifetime membership in this club. Despite one date declaring that I “must hate men” (which didn’t earn him a second date) because I wasn’t responding positively to his self-involved monologue, I would, in fact, like to date a man. Ideally, I want a partner, someone who can see my inner and outer beauty along with my quirks and think that’s a good package deal with whom to navigate life. That is where Bridget’s story gives me hope. You can stick to your guns and eventually land a good man – someone you are truly mad about.
Until then, join the club.