You’ve been through so much and it’s okay that you feel like a screw-up for most of the time. It’s absolutely fine to stay up until 4 AM and cry your heart out in the the quiet corner in the fire exit, cradled in your favorite blanket looking up in the sky and asking why you keep on failing at the things you try.
You are not a failure. You are a masterpiece in progress.
Every bump in the road will make you who you are supposed to be.
You are going to breath again. You will be able to stand again and feel as though everything is going to be okay and it will be. This is a magnificent journey; some paths will lead you to pain but most will lead you to great heights, unimaginable happiness and heartfelt love.
Yes, there will still be gut-wrenching loneliness or deep hate towards yourself but it’ll pass and you’ll be a stronger woman. There will be new grounds that you can conquer. There will be new people you can love. There will be new things you can excel at.
Do not think of yourself as a loser or a disappointment because you are one hell of a person.
You have offered so much of yourself to others. You have made sure to cross oceans for people you love. You have given so much blood, sweat and tears to make your parents proud of you.
Honey, you deserve some rest. You deserve a breather. You deserve a smile. You will be okay; not right away, but you will be. Honestly, I don’t know when you’ll be at your one hundred percent, but trust me that it’ll happen. You have people who love you! You have shoulders to lean on. Do not be afraid to share your pain, your burden and your fear. You are loved wholly. Please do not care about being loved by many because you deserve more than just a passing, shallow kind of love. You deserve a good number of people who will truly care.
Please be strong; be that beacon of light not only for others but also for yourself. You are okay and you’ll be better. No amount of screw-up can define you. No failure can erase the love you’ve given to the world. Let go of the fear and be happy. This is what I genuinely wish for you.