Overthinking is probably one of the hardest things to control. Whether it be about a test, a friendship, or a significant other, we all overthink. This leads to a higher stress level and provokes anxiety. Everyone is overly analytical about different things, and we all deal with this battle in our own ways. Here is what we who overthink so much do not want to hear.
1. “It is really not a big deal.”
I know that the boy I am fussing over is probably not worth it. But guess what? I can’t control the fact that him not responding to a text makes me think of all the things I could have possibly done wrong. I know that my friend is most likely not mad at me, but I can’t help but think that when things don’t seem “normal”. This is all a big deal in my eyes, so don’t make me feel like my feelings are not valid. Trust me, all of these feelings are 100% okay to feel, and they will blow over eventually.
2. “Get over it.”
I can’t right now. I am all about allowing myself to feel feelings, whatever they may be, because I am definitely feeling them for a reason. That reason may be so I won’t make the same mistake in the future, or maybe I need to feel kind of crappy for a little bit so I can appreciate the calm and happy times. No one should be told to “get over” their feelings, especially if you are overthinking. I whole process of overthinking can hopefully allow you to practice taking a step back and realizing that everything will be okay. You will move past these uncomfortable feelings with time, and that is all you can do.
3. “Why are you freaking out?”
I don’t totally know why I am panicking about one question that I may have gotten wrong on my exam from this morning. We don’t know why we are overthinking every little thing in this very moment, and attempting to explain that to someone is probably one of the most frustrating things ever. We just feel this way. There is no real reason. The whole reason why overthinking leads to so much anxiety is because we make up scenarios in our head about a situation that are probably not even true. Just because your friend didn’t say hi to you when they were rushing to get to a class does not mean they are mad you. Don’t ask me why I am freaking out, because it will just makes me feel worse.
4. “At least…”
If I am choosing to open up to someone and allow myself to be vulnerable, I never want the person to reply with “at least your situation isn’t as bad as this person’s”. We all fight our own battles, and no one’s problem should be considered worse or greater than yours. Failing a quiz could be nothing to you, but for someone else it could mean everything. Overthinking is still a major problem, and it should not be thought of as less by others who do not understand.
5. “Try to do x, y, and z.”
Obviously the opinions of other people are always nice and appreciated, sometimes we just want to vent. Maybe listening to music or watching a happy show won’t calm me down. Just explaining how we feel upset is sometimes just what we need to feel better. As much as we value your opinions of how we should feel better, they just won’t work in the moment.
6. “It will all be okay.”
We know it will be okay. We have been here before, and we know things will work out. But for now, things do not seem okay and we need to slowly work through the hard time. These feelings make it seem like we will never get over whatever is going on, but we know we will eventually move on.
7. “Why would you even think that?”
We don’t know why we think the way we do. It’s difficult because most of the time we do not know why we are overthinking. This is the creation of false scenarios that we legit make up. It does not make any sense, and it is maybe the worst feeling when people think my thoughts are not valid.
8. “Change your mindset.”
This kind of pulls all of the previous seven points together. It takes a long time of practicing in order to lessen overthinking. It is totally fine to overthink, but we cannot let it take over our lives.
Overall, overthinking is so hard to control and we all deal about it in our own way. We all need to take time to work through the uncomfortable feelings without other people trying to make us feel any differently.