Welcome to the age of anticipated mistakes, rampant ramblings, scrambled thoughts, rigorous self-doubt, and heavy realizations.
A quarter-life crisis is believed to be the period of one’s life ranging from twenties to thirties, mostly hitting young professionals all struggling to answer the question, “Where am I going?”
This crisis intensifies over time as you feel yourself unravelling, second-guessing decisions, and unhappily going through the motions of your life. Life becomes dragging and no matter how great things look in retrospect, it is not good enough.
In the fast-paced life we all live in, coming up for air is a stationary goal that faithfully strains us physically and emotionally at every turn.
This landscape shaped our perceived reality hindering us in performing and acting on our passions due to impending hesitations brought upon by unmet expectations that spring from the constant desire to secure validation from the significant figures in our lives, in the vain hope of justifying you current state, and in extension, denying the crisis.
Still under the impression that we get to live until 100, hitting your 25th birthday celebration comes with more baggage than it necessarily should.
The pressure kicks in and the unspoken pangs of adult responsibilities are louder than ever. Not to mention being surrounded by people dealing with whirlwinds of emotions, with looming stares, sporting judgments, and self-doubt that moves life clockwork.
On the brink of leaving my 25-year old self, I am sharing with you one of the many things I learned from a coaching session that I took in the hopes that this will speak to some enduring the same dilemma.
Enduring a quarter life crisis firsthand is an overwhelming experience made even greater by the lack of willingness to deliberately attack the dilemma headstrong due to the feeling of being stuck, and succumbing to the gravitational pull of our (oftentimes) self-imposed torture which an ambiguous reflex that the crisis presents.
If not hellaciously addressed, this might stretch far into your 40s which might eventually lead to chronic depression. Actively seeking help in providing clarity and direction to the situation is the first step to wellness and it also begins with one thing, at least in my case: Forgiveness.
Forgive your family.
It’s always good to blame the family, right?
Truth be told, who we are today directly correlates to how our lives were built and molded from the four corners of our homes.
Trace far back to your developmental years and identify the tipping point of your crisis. Take the time to reflect and muster up the courage to dig deep and internalize on your frustrations, focus on why it happened and who was the key figure in that scenario apart from yourself that may or may not deliberately influenced you more.
Realize that it’s your history and angle your perspective towards how it made you unlock emotions and knowledge beyond your years at such a young age.
Forgive your environment.
Control what you can, let go of what you can’t, and live in the now.
We are so caught up with the idea of leading perfect lives, because we value conforming to others people’s perception of perfect in our undisclosed desire to please everyone, hence the strong yearning to live up to their expectations.
The system is flawed, the circumstances are unforgiving, and people let you down, and it’s perfectly fine! Remember that you cannot control your everything, and in extension, anyone — only how you react to the situations presented by it.
Forgive your environment, your peers, your colleagues, and even the person who stole your cab. Stop looking outside of yourself and start living your perfect and full life in your terms.
You do you.
Make the conscious effort to, once and for all, decide for yourself. Give yourself a break from all the self-imposed expectations and manage your perspective to every challenge at hand, no one is more capable of in-charge your psyche better than yourself.
Admit that you lost some parts of yourself in the process of complying to structure. Revisit your passions and create a feasible timeline for achieving your goals, time to make up for lost connections within yourself, and begin your quest in finally choosing you.
A quarter life crisis presents an opportunity to unleash your full potential, opens up for possibilities you never knew existed, and it takes on a ride through the road less travelled. The bottomline of the crisis zeroes in on execution.
Leave that apartment you hate, quit that job that doesn’t make you happy, take that vacation you always planned but never had the time to, connect with people you miss, start that book you always to wanted to write, take that first dip in the pool, and learn to swim.