As I sat in the empty lounge of my apartment, studying for my next quiz for my Doctorate program, my mind started to wander. I began to think about deep emotional things, which I do a lot. I guess truthfully, I just needed a quick break from learning drugs in Pharmacology and acid base balance of the human body.
I thought about what I’ve lost a year ago, when my life was traveling in a completely different direction. As I listened to the Carpenters, I felt something I haven’t felt in a while. I felt hope, a seemingly elusive emotion that disappeared when my heart was shattered.
I looked around, and the cold common area was not as frigid anymore. The Christmas lights outside that the city keeps lit all year round sparkled just a little brighter than it did yesterday. The happy music playing from my laptop made sense, and the love songs didn’t irritate me.
It was a long journey, but I believe that I’ve finally healed, not because of anyone else, but because of the work I put into caring for me. I wasn’t alone. God was with me every step of the way. He placed me where I needed to be. He made sure that the people that I needed in my life stayed there. And most of all, He gave me strength. He has a funny way of helping.
The memories are just now recollections of the past that taught me valuable lessons. I don’t make it a habit to broadcast my personal affairs, but I do like to offer my experiences to those who may need it. I’m telling you that the pain doesn’t last very long, and even though it hurts now, one day, a month, a couple of months or a year later, you’ll wake up (or you’ll take a break from studying) and suddenly, you’ll be alright, too.
And finally, the smiles are real and no longer forced. Your heart starts to beat with excitement. Your soul feels new, simple and clean. You’re more resilient and you’re ready.
Best wishes on continuing your journey.