This Is How You Get Your Life Back Together

Woman in fedora in field
Kaci Baum

You stop self medicating, completely if you can help it.

You cut it out. And then start working on something. A project, something that requires you to fix and create. Especially if you’ve become a bit of a zombie – it’ll wake your mind up. Gardening is good for this (especially since it’s physical). But anything that requires you to problem solve and create can work.

Develop a skill that will increase your independence. Whether that is learning to drive or enrolling in a course, even a short one. Learn SOMETHING new that will mean you don’t have to depend on other people and leave yourself vulnerable to their moods.

Listen to yourself. Seriously. Stop dismissing your feelings – they are there to GUIDE you and let you know if something up or, conversely, if you’re heading in the right direction.

Take yourself seriously. You are, just like every other human, built to navigate the landscape of your life – and your feelings and moods are your body’s way of letting you know if you’re getting warm.

Allow yourself to grieve. Being upset does not equal being weak, it means knowing that you matter enough to give a shit about what happens to you.

Allow yourself to go into situations and fuck up, and learn. Allow yourself to do the hard things and feel crabby afterwards. It’s okay – what matters is doing it and having the courage to do it all again tomorrow.

And finally, stop being so bitter. Seriously. There’s a difference between bitterness and anger. The former is blocking your ability to love and let joy in, while the latter is indicating something is wrong.

Having the confidence to display love and kindness is the ultimate strength – it’s the refusal to not let life or other people render you jaded and the determination to find joy where you can. It means not giving up, even though sometimes people will tell you to. Don’t listen to them.

There are always good moments. You get your life back together by trying, and no matter what, having hope that a better day is just around the corner. TC mark

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