This current lifestyle we live is an open invitation for self-destruction. It’s as if we’re on our knees begging to feel like we’re not enough.
We surrender to our negative thoughts in the blink of an eye, but ward off any emotions that don’t align with happiness, choosing ignorance over discovery. What we don’t realize is that we hurt ourselves by denying ourselves the right to feel.
We judge ourselves on a scale of almost perfect to perfect which sets the impossible expectation that you have to be an amplified version of yourself that has it together at all times, without fail. Along the way, we’ve accepted that we are to be confined in a box such as the “happy friend” or the “empathetic listener” or the “brilliant daughter” or the “funny best friend” and it’s more harmful than we know.
While all the traits listed above are wonderful, seeing life through the lens of limitation is painful. We think people expect us to be one way or another, and we’re afraid to be anything else.
The truth of the matter is: Intelligent people can feel confused. Competent people can make mistakes. Brave people can be afraid. Happy people can feel sad.
You’re allowed to be and feel multiple things. You’re allowed to be and feel human.
We judge ourselves for crying. We rudely interrupt our healthy tears to claim we need to “keep it together.” We judge the immediate ping in our gut that is born from anger. We suppress it because it’s not a positive emotion.
Have you ever thought that your sadness or anger is trying to tell you something?
Somehow, the idea of happiness has been promoted as being the only emotion that’s “good” for you – the only emotion you’re “allowed” to feel.
First off, no.
The rainbow of emotions your heart wants you to experience exists for a reason. If your mind has historically convinced you that you should feel shame for feeling anything that isn’t positive, it’s important you know and understand this: You’re allowed to feel anything that is real. There’s nothing wrong with embracing the full spectrum of emotions. Temporarily feeling something negative doesn’t belittle your nature. It only means you’re human. Just as we all are.
If you look at emotions with a healthy approach, everything will change.
Next time you feel something you dislike, get curious about it. Ask yourself why the certain emotion makes you feel a certain way. Pry into your thoughts to get to understand yourself better. See that it’s not so scary. No one is advocating for you to become an anger-fueled individual who shouts at people in everyday life. Simply just notice when anger does tempt your mind, so you can understand it better, in turn, understanding yourself better.
Your emotions want to teach you. They have a PhD in life, so get studying.
When you’re alone, ask yourself this: “Am I who I present myself to be or am I holding a part of me back from the world?”
Penetrate the concrete wall in between you and your emotions and recognize how you’ve been holding back on yourself. This may sound funny, but that’s only because we’ve lost connection with ourselves. And that’s only because we bought into the nonsense that ‘happy’ is the only normal and acceptable feeling.
In reality, it’s normal to laugh, to cry, to be consumed by frustration, to be resilient, to be proud, to be distraught, to feel.
The problem is: we’re living in an unhealthy reality. We overdose on materialistic items to fill emotional voids. We drown our taste buds in negative words, blindly hoping to feel better. We try and try for more, but have consistently been burdening our minds and souls with the crumbs of what life should be.
It’s as if we don’t respect our emotions enough to fully acknowledge them. We don’t recognize what all the “bad” does for us.
Do yourself a favor and dig deeper into the parts of yourself you try to hide. Find the galaxies that exist in your emotions and uncover the root of your feelings. Instead of betraying your humanness with judgement, accept it and let it teach you.
Give awareness to what is real. Open up to the direct experience of everyday living. Instead of craving happiness, crave to be true to yourself.
We’re all still learning how to give our stubborn minds to our hearts. We’re all still learning how to be human.